The Top 10 Worst Songs Of 2024

*sigh* Since you waited two months for me to come back and post something else, and last year you waited four months for me to release my 2023 year-end posts, I'll just give it to you now.

The music of 2024 was a double-edged sword. This year gave us wonderful artists like Sabrina Carpenter, Chappell Roan, and Gracie Abrams, who had previously fallen under the radar of the general public but are now finally becoming huge stars. It also gave us great new music from artists I love, like Billie Eilish and Ariana Grande. And obviously, it gave us a whole world tour from Taylor Swift (happy birthday) and a new double album from her, with 31 tracks. However, there were inevitably still plenty of songs that played on the radio in 2024 at some point or another that just... aren't that good. And these are the top 10 worst of the worst.

The criteria for the list is the same as last year: any song is eligible, as long as it was released in and/or charted in 2024. So, for example, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived by Taylor Swift could be on here since it was released 2024, even though it didn't chart on Hits 1. But I'm not gonna include some random song from 2021, like, say, All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor's Version) (From the Vault) (Sad Girl Autumn Version) (Recorded At Long Pond Studios). Sorry to all my ATWTMVTVFTVSGAVRALPS stans.

Also, as always, even if you're tired of seeing it at the top of people's rankings because it's just implied at this point... T H I S   I S   M Y   O P I N I O N. So, I hope I don't wake up tomorrow with more hate comments than the number of people in the world complaining about how I "hate rap" or "hate fun" or am "not a respected member of society" or whatever. Okay, now the top 10.

#10: Kesha - Joyride

If there's two genres of lyricism you all know I hate, it's overly sexual lyrics, and lyrics that repeat themselves over and over and over and over and over and over and over. This song is both. "I'm just looking for a JOY! RIDE! JOYRIDE! I'm just looking for a GOOD! TIME! TONIGHT!" Whatever that vocal effect is when she's singing those high notes is really grating for some reason. I guess the production sounds okay, for maybe five seconds. But this song gets annoying very quickly.

#9: Mark Ambor - Belong Together

This song is just very poorly written. I'm trying to imagine Mark writing this in the studio. "You... and... me... belong together. Like... hmmm, what rhymes with together? Ooh! I know! Like cold iced tea and warm weather!" Yeah, no. Also, ehrm, it should be "you and I belong together", not "you and me". He must have had Lady Gaga as his English teacher in school...

#8: Tommy Richman - Million Dollar Baby

He just has to make it really clear that he's rich. I don't like to hate on songs just because the singer doesn't sound very good, but like... this guy can't sing. He doesn't even sound like he's trying to sing. He sounds like he's squealing. And the production is not helping that. It sounds like he bought the cheapest piano keyboard he could find and played random chords over a preset beat called "Funk City 03".

#7: Ariana Grande & Mariah Carey - Yes, And?

*sigh* Unfortunately, a list of the worst songs of the year is almost always going to have at least one song that happens to be written by one of my favorite artists. Ariana has two appearances on my "best songs of the year" list, but this song... this was just not a good comeback for an artist as amazing as Ari. The original Yes, And wouldn't have made this list. It's still bad, but the remix with Mariah Carey that sounds like she's an AI screaming alien noises from another room is way worse. See my Eternal Sunshine album review for a review of the original song.

#6: Camila Cabello & Playboi Carti - I Luv It

Camila Cabello's albums Camila and Romance are two of my favorite albums of all time. C, XOXO, however, is not. Camila Cabello did something with this album that I had always been worried she'd do: drastically changing her sound and aesthetic just to fit with the trends. This is by far the worst song on that album. If you want to see why I think that, once again I'm gonna direct you to when I originally reviewed C, XOXO.

#5: Charli XCX - Von Dutch

I think you all knew Charli would show up at some point on here. She's not terrible by any means. She definitely has talent, and she's released some great music. But the lead single for Brat REALLY should've been Talk Talk and not this. I've already talked about this and the next two songs in my album review for Brat, so you can look at that if you want longer, more in-depth reviews of them.

#4: Charli XCX - 365

Once again, see the album review above if you want a full review. This song is essentially just a worse version of 360.

#3: Charli XCX - B2B

See the album review again for a longer review. This song is one of the most repetitive and annoying songs I've heard this year.

#2: Charli XCX & Billie Eilish - Guess

This song was only on the deluxe edition of Brat so it was not included in my album review, so I'll review it right now. This song's whole concept is just "You wanna guess the color of my underwear?" and doing a bunch of things with underwear. Really weird, really stupid concept for a song. I do not need to hear about your underwear every day on the radio. This is far worse than any of the songs on the standard edition of Brat, so at least I'm glad it's not on the regular album.

#1: Megan Thee Stallion & Yuki Chiba - Mamushi

Okay, time for a rant. Every Megan Thee Stallion song sounds the same. It's got some generic boring beat that never evolves, and the lyrics are just the same words over and over and over. I know some people like that kind of stuff, but if we're judging music as a pure art, Megan Thee Stallion's insanely repetitive music just doesn't work. "I get money I'm a stahhhhh stahhhhh stahhhhh stahhhhh stahhhhh stahhhhh stahhhhh". Why do people like these kinds of songs? I will never understand how Megan is so popular. And it's not like Yuki Chiba is much better. He's trying to rap, but he sounds monotonous and off-beat. The lyrics in his verse aren't great either - the sudden "nice to meet you" and "I'm so happy" thrown in the middle of the Japanese lyrics (which I have translated before, and are not that good) just sound so random and awkwardly placed. Unlike some of the other bloggers, the language the lyrics are in wouldn't really affect my opinion on the song itself, but I just would've preferred if those last few lines were entirely cut out. But even then, it wouldn't be a much better song, because literally nothing about this works. As you may remember, my least favorite song of 2023 was Labrinth & Billie Eilish's Never Felt So Alone. But Mamushi is MILES worse than that song. Never Felt So Alone at least has some redeeming qualities - the production changes in a few sections, and the pre-chorus melody is alright I suppose. I would go so far as to say Never Felt So Alone grew on me a decent bit. For Mamushi, I tried to think deeply and find a single redeemable quality about it, and all I could come up with is that... I mean, I guess Megan doesn't sound terrible, and she's mostly rapping on the beat? But her flow still falls flat, so that's far from a saving quality of the song. So, Megan Thee Stallion does not deserve 1% of the recognition she gets as a musician. Mamushi isn't even my least favorite Megan song. I still think Wap, Body, and maybe even Savage are worse than this. But this is quite close. I tried to think of any "good" songs she had, and I thought of three, but all three of them are just songs where she's featured with another artist so they hardly count as proper Megan songs: Not My Fault with Renee Rapp, Beautiful Mistakes with Maroon 5, and the 34+35 remix with Ariana Grande and Doja Cat. And even on those, Megan's verses are my least favorite parts of all of those songs. Her verse in Beautiful Mistakes is probably the closest thing she has to a good part on a song, maybe because she actually sings a bit, and some of the lyrics are kinda clever, but even then it's still pretty meh. But Megan has a lot of songs, so three semi-decent features she has on other songs isn't gonna affect my opinion: Megan just doesn't deserve to be a popular singer, and Mamushi is a glaring example of her lack of interesting and enjoyable music.

Whew... okay. That was something. I'm glad to be back.

"But Hallett, what about the album reviews you promised us before you disappeared for one trillion years?"

Starting in 2025, you'll get one album review every week, along with maybe some other random post.

That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!

{5,000 Views Special} Welcome to the Eras Tour (Hallett's Version)

Hi! So, this is what I decided on to celebrate reaching 5,000 pageviews. I created my own version of the Eras Tour, if I was in charge of the setlist. This is entirely based on my personal opinions, and on two specific factors: what songs I like the best, and what songs I feel would be the best songs to perform at a major concert like this. So, there are some songs that I really like, but are excluded as they might not be the best choices for a huge concert event like this, e.g. Ronan, Bigger than the Whole Sky, Soon You'll Get Better, Forever Winter, Epiphany, etc. 

(Also, just for your information, I've never been to an actual Eras Tour show, but I've heard a lot about it and seen the movie and some videos from the tour.)

Anyway, without further ado, this is the setlist for the Eras Tour (Hallett's Version)!

Lover era

1. Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince - A perfect choice for an opener song, and I wouldn't change a thing about this performance.

2. Death by a Thousand Cuts - Underrated song that would've been a great performance for the main show.

3. The Archer - I love that she already included this song, as I wouldn't have expected that. I love this song and her performance was wonderful.

4. Lover - Could represent finding new love after the sadder themes expressed in the previous two songs?

5. Cruel Summer - I don't love this song as much as some people do, but including it is an obvious choice. Also, it's track 5 of the concert.

6. You Need to Calm Down - The performance of this one was wonderful, and the "let me see your hands" part was iconic. I feel like this one makes for a good closer to the Lover section.

Fearless era

7. The Way I Loved You - One of those songs I love more than I feel like I should.

8. You Belong With Me - Absolutely iconic song, and I feel like so much could have been done with the performance especially considering it's also one of her most iconic music videos.

9. The Other Side of the Door - I could go on for hours about how much I love this song. It's one of my favorite songs of Taylor's whole discography, I don't know how it's not more popular.

Red era

10. State of Grace - A Red non-single and album opener that should have been the era opener. "Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right" is basically the line that represents the whole album.

11. 22 - Notice how I placed this as song number 11 of the tour, and song number 2 of the Red era, and 11 times 2 is 22? I guess this would just be an interesting Easter egg for anyone who's a fan of both Taylor Swift and math...

12. Red - I referenced this song in my Midnights album review, and my opinion still stands: it's a banger song that I admittedly like a bit more than I should.

13. All Too Well (10 Minute Version) - My favorite (and seemingly most people's favorite) Taylor Swift song, for very obvious reasons. This should definitely be song number 13.

Speak Now era

14. Long Live - A great song dedicated to all the fans and her band, a must-play on the Eras Tour.

15. Enchanted - For a lot of the tour, this was somehow the only song she played for the Speak Now era. There was just a little period of time where she also did Long Live. Sure, it's a frequently forgotten album with not too many huge "iconic" hit songs, and this one is still one of my favorites so it should stay, just the album deserved better treatment. But as for this song itself, I think it's one of my top 5 favorite Taylor Swift songs.

16. Sparks Fly - A Speak Now fan favorite that I also really love.

17. Mine - I feel like this is the biggest hit from the album, and it's easily my favorite of the three songs on the album with four-letter titles.

18. Timeless - A criminally underrated vault track and one of my top 13 favorites of Taylor's discography, and I would love to hear a live performance of this on the Eras set. It may not be an era-defining song or whatever, but it just needed to be on the set.

Reputation era

19. ...Ready for It? - Well, obviously keep this as the opener.

20. Gorgeous - This song is really cute and underrated.

21. New Year's Day - I wanted the Rep era to be kinda short, but I feel like this one would be a good closer for this era, as it's also the album closer.

Folklore era

22. The 1 - Song 22 of the set is another song that says a number in the title.

23. The Last Great American Dynasty - Probably the most "upbeat" song from the Folklore album, so I think this would be a good inclusion for the concert. The performance already looked amazing with the train and the Folklore house, and I wouldn't change much about that.

24. Invisible String - Another happier song from Folklore that was previously removed from the setlist and replaced with The 1.

25. Mirrorball - I've always considered this the best song from Folklore.

26. Cardigan - Easily keep this as the closer for the Folklore set, as it's the biggest hit by far.

Evermore era

27. Marjorie - Yes, I intentionally decided to split the Folklore and Evermore sets into two separate eras again, as they're often seen as similar, but to me they're still two very distinct albums. This song is beautiful and I'm beyond surprised that she originally included it but love that she did.

28. Willow - The iconic Evermore song, and a very special one for me. The performance on the Eras Tour was perfect.

29. Long Story Short - An upbeat, relatively happy song for a good concert performance. I'm kind of surprised this one wasn't already included.

30. Champagne Problems - This is one of my favorite songs from Evermore and definitely a fan favorite, so I'm glad she included it and it's so cool that she did an acoustic performance of it on the piano from the Cardigan music video.

31. Tolerate It - Another song I was shocked to see is on the actual setlist, and it should totally stay. The cinematic-style performance at the dinner table was really cool to me.

32. Closure - Why do people hate this song again? I love it so much, and in a way it could kind of work well almost as a mashup with Tolerate It as they are both in a 5/4 time signature and the same key. Also, it would be insane if they performed the percussion live on actual pots and pans.

1989 era

33. Out of the Woods - I'm surprised this wasn't on the set. A huge, dramatic live performance of this would be iconic.

34. Blank Space - This is one of those songs that just can't not be included.

35. Shake it Off - Same deal as Blank Space.

36. Wildest Dreams - I don't know why but I've always felt like this should be the closer of the 1989 set. It just has that kind of vibe to it of saying goodbye but hoping to be remembered, which works well as a closer to a concert.

The Tortured Poets Department era

37. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - When there's a song literally about the Eras Tour, obviously it needs to be on here.

38. Fortnight - The lead single that everyone knows, so it also kinda had to be on the set.

39. So High School - A full version of this song on the Eras Tour would be great.

40. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - My favorite song from TTPD, and I love how dramatic the performance already looks.

41. The Manuscript - It would be crazy if she actually played this one on the tour, but if she did it would be the TTPD closer.

Midnights era

42. Maroon - Both shades of Red that Taylor has written songs about needed to be on the set.

43. Midnight Rain - One of Taylor's most over-hated songs that should definitely be kept on here.

44. Anti-Hero - The best single from Midnights and the performance with the music video worked shockingly well on the original concert.

45. Karma - Like she apparently already does, Ice Spice can make surprise appearances sometimes.

46. Bejeweled - This song is essentially a more mature version of Shake It Off, and the dance performances were crazy, so why wasn't this the tour closer instead of Karma?

Well, that's The Eras Tour (Hallett's Version). Since I'm planning on having weekly album reviews on this blog, I don't think I'll do any more album reviews for pageview specials, but I'll do more unique posts like this. Thanks again for 5,000 views!

(I'm really late on it but trust me there's an album review coming this week. Hopefully I'll consistently get them out on Wednesdays or Thursdays each week but don't quote me on that.)

That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!

This week was incredibly terribly greatly awfully amazingly badly weird - Hits 1 9/28/24

Hi! So, I've made a big decision about what I'm gonna do with my blog. In addition to countdown reviews, I decided to continue my album reviews because there are so many interesting albums being released and they're so fun to make. So instead of just doing little series of them every time I hit a milestone number of views, you can expect an album review about once a week, if possible. That's definitely subject to change depending on whether my life gets insanely busy again, but there will certainly be an album review this week, most likely by Wednesday or Thursday. As for this week's countdown, just like last week, it was a combination of really good and really bad stuff. We got rid of a bunch of old songs and had some amazing debuts, but one re-entry of a song that's guaranteed a spot on my worst songs list of 2024, maybe even #1. There were also a crap ton of weird movements that made zero sense and a lot of them did not need to happen. So let's get into it!

Exits:

Benson Boone - Slow It Down

Madison Beer - Make You Mine

Shawn Mendes - Why Why Why

Teddy Swims - The Door

Countdown:

#30: Megan Thee Stallion & Yuki Chiba - Mamushi (Re-entry) (oh please...)

#29: Addison Rae - Diet Pepsi (=)

#28: Kendrick Lamar - Not Like Us (Debut)

#27: Meghan Trainor - Criminals (Debut)

#26: Linkin Park - The Emptiness Machine (Debut)

#25: Katseye - Touch (+2)

#24: The Weeknd - Dancing in the Flames (+6)

#23: Tate McRae - It's Ok I'm Ok (=)

#22: Khalid - Heatstroke (+4)

#21: MGK & Jelly Roll - Lonely Road (+7)

#20: Halsey - Ego (+5)

#19: Coldplay, Little Simz, Elyanna, Tini & Burna Boy - We Pray (+5)

#18: Charli XCX - Apple (-5)

#17: Benson Boone - Pretty Slowly (+5)

#16: Bruno Mars & Lady Gaga - Die With a Smile (+1)

Extra: Dasha - Bye Bye Bye

#15: Alex Warren - Carry You Home (+1)

#14: Gracie Abrams - Close to You (-5)

#13: Mark Ambor - Belong Together (-3)

#12: Charli XCX - 360 (+9)

#11: Myles Smith - Stargazing (+1)

#10: Sabrina Carpenter - Taste (+1)

#9: Marshmello & Kane Brown - Miles on It (+9)

#8: Dasha - Austin (+7)

#7: Chappell Roan - Hot to Go (=)

#6: Taylor Swift - I Can Do It With A Broken Heart (=)

#5: Billie Eilish - Birds of a Feather (-1)

#4: Shaboozey - A Bar Song (Tipsy) (=)

#3: Sabrina Carpenter - Please Please Please (=)

#2: Post Malone & Morgan Wallen - I Had Some Help (=)

Last year's #1: Taylor Swift - Cruel Summer

#1: Chappell Roan - Good Luck Babe! (=)

Debuts:

We did not need MaTRASHi to re-enter. I swear, every Megan Thee Stallion song is exactly the same, and it does not work. This better leave next week and then never come back after that.

Luckily we have a debut this week by a different and much better Meghan. Meghan Trainor's Criminals debuts the countdown this week after two weeks in Hitbound. This is great. The lyrics are hilarious - it's about how the intense amount of love she feels should be illegal, so she and her partner are criminals. And it's got her signature production style that sounds amazing here. I hope this does well, but judging by how poorly Mother, Been Like This & Whoops had previously performed on the countdown, I doubt this'll do much.

So, I don't think I've told you this before, but I actually hadn't listened to Kendrick Lamar's Not Like Us until about two months ago. I've very rarely brought myself to listen to rap music outside of Hits 1 as it doesn't interest me much, but I knew if I went too long without listening to this particular song, people would think I live under a rock. I like this. It's got really clever and kinda funny lyrics, including the line that's apparently going viral, "Tryna strike a chord and it's probably a minor". Obviously I love when songs have musical humor because I'm the biggest music nerd on the planet. So this is pretty good.

And finally, we have Linkin Park finally having one of their newly released songs make the countdown, The Emptiness Machine. This is probably my favorite debut this week. The rock production is fantastic, the lyrics are great, and I quite like the new lead singer.

Biggest Jump: Marshmello & Kane Brown - Miles On It, Charli XCX - 360 (+9)

Biggest Drop: Gracie Abrams - Close to You, Charli XCX - Apple (-5)

Missed song: Halsey - Colors

Recommendations for Hits 1: Chappell Roan - Casual, Pearl Jam - Scared of Fear, Charli XCX & Troye Sivan - Talk Talk, Demi Lovato - You'll Be Ok, Kid

Hitbound:

Myles Smith - Wait for You

Kylie Minogue - Lights Camera Action (Debut)

Knox - Invisible

Jon Bellion - Kid Again (Debut)

Camila Cabello - Godspeed

Morgan Wallen & Ernest - Cowgirls (Debut)

Henry Moodie - Good Old Days (Debut)

Damiano David & Labrinth - Silverlines (Debut)

Ava Max - Spot a Fake

Alex Warren - Catch My Breath (Debut)

Teddy Swims - Bad Dreams

Natalie Jane - Somebody to Someone

Balu Brigada - So Cold (Debut)

Nightly - Every Part (Debut)

Dasha - Bye Bye Bye

Alex Warren - Burning Down

8 debuts... okay then. First up is Kylie Minogue, a year after one of my favorite EDM songs of 2023 (not exactly saying much but a great song nonetheless) Padam Padam. Lights Camera Action isn't near as great but I like it. It's moderately forgettable but the production sounds pretty good. The lyrics aren't so amazing as they feel a bit generic but it's fine. This'll probably perform about as well as Padam Padam and I'm fine with that.

This next song is by Morgan Wallen and someone named Ernest with this song Cowgirls, which is apparently from almost two years ago but it's getting a sudden resurgence for whatever weird pop radio reason. This is just more generic boring Morgan Wallen. I really don't get why he's popular, not just because of all the controversies, but his music is also insanely boring.

Henry Moodie returns with Good Old Days. Unfortunately, none of his later songs have quite matched up to the same level of greatness as Drunk Text, one of my favorite songs of the year. This suffers from the same problem as RPWT where it just feels too generic and forgettable for me to enjoy it as much as some of his other songs.

Damiano David & Labrinth collab on Silverlines. Am I the only person in the universe who doesn't hate this song? (Of course, that's true of a lot of songs for me, but whatever) It sounds so cool to me and it's not boring at all, it evolves in an amazing way. So much better than Never Felt So Alone.

Hits 1 has now picked up on five Alex Warren songs in half a year, three of which have been in the past month. It's official, he's becoming the new Hayes Warner/Jessie Murph/Havana Winter/Knox/Henry Moodie/Presley Regier. Catch My Breath is a very mediocre and forgettable song that sounds like every other song he's released.

Balu Brigada is here with So Cold, and this is yet another song that I can't remember one second of after it's over. But I guess it's not bad, just a bit forgettable, like almost every other song on here.

Nightly returns after one year, this time bringing us Every Part. I don't love this as much as Shirt, which grew on me a lot after dropping out of Hitbound, but I like this a decent bit. The lyrics are really well-written as they're about loving someone who's going through mental issues and wanting to help them. Of course, the pre-chorus does rhyme "head" with "bed", but that doesn't take away from the song that much in this case.

Dropouts:

Tinashe - Nasty

Katy Perry & Doechii - I'm His He's Mine

Haiden Henderson - Sweat

Henry Moodie - Right Person Wrong Time

Jimin - Who

Fifty Fifty - SOS

These won't be missed. I'm His He's Mine and Who are in the abyss though so it's possible they might debut the countdown after some time.

The Blurbiness Machine:

We said goodbye to Slow It Down, Make You Mine, The Door, and Why Why Why. I'm fine with all of those leaving, especially the first three. My prediction was correct: Slow It Down, Make You Mine, and The Door had pretty much zero chance at making it into October.

No idea what Hits 1 will do with Touch, but I hope it keeps jumping, even if it only peaks at like #22 or something.

Great to see Lonely Road and Ego climbing. Now let's see them each jump 19 spots to #2 and #1 next week.

Charli XCX had both this week's biggest drop and biggest jump. Unfortunately, the significantly better song is the one that dropped, and the significantly worse song is the one that jumped. I thought for sure 360 was on its way out two weeks ago, but right now it's seeming like Apple might even leave first.

I really hope Close to You makes a comeback and doesn't leave from #14 next week.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart is now on its 22nd week on the countdown! It's feeling twenty twoooo...

After falling last week, Miles On It and Austin both made big rebounds into the top 10. Miles On It is fading on me, and Austin is likely to fade on me if it lasts too much longer, but I'm still okay with this. Also, if Austin stays on for a mere three more weeks it will join the small club of songs that have lasted 30+ weeks on the countdown after it was shortened to top 30.

Good Luck Babe holds the top spot for a second week. That's pretty good for right now. It would be cool to see Please Please Please reclaim #1 for a second nonconsecutive week, and even better if Ego eventually hits #1, both of which are unlikely but possible, because Hits 1 is unpredictable. For now I'm perfectly fine with GLB at the top.

That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!

Finally back to doing this again... again... again - Hits 1 9/21/24

Hi! So, after my big album review series, I got sort of burnt out for a while, but I'm back to doing Hits 1 reviews, and hopefully it stays fairly consistent now. This week was kinda good and kinda not. One of my favorite songs on the countdown had the biggest drop, and another one of my favorite songs on the countdown fell off the #1 position. But that #1 was replaced by an almost equally good song, there were some great debuts, and most importantly we got rid of one old song and three contenders for my worst list of 2024 (which might have to be a bit longer than the 2023 one was because there have been so many horrible songs this year). So let's get into it!

Exits:

Ariana Grande - The Boy is Mine

Kesha - Joyride

Charli XCX & Billie Eilish - Guess

Megan Thee Stallion & Yuki Chiba - Mamushi

Countdown:

#30: The Weeknd - Dancing In The Flames (Debut)

#29: Addison Rae - Diet Pepsi (Debut)

#28: MGK & Jelly Roll - Lonely Road (-9)

#27: Katseye - Touch (Debut)

#26: Khalid - Heatstroke (-3)

#25: Halsey - Ego (+5)

#24: Coldplay, Little Simz, Burna Boy, Elyanna & Tini - We Pray (+3)

#23: Tate McRae - It's Ok I'm Ok (Debut)

#22: Benson Boone - Pretty Slowly (+6)

#21: Charli XCX - 360 (+1)

#20: Shawn Mendes - Why Why Why (+5)

#19: Madison Beer - Make You Mine (-2)

#18: Marshmello & Kane Brown - Miles On It (-8)

#17: Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars - Die With a Smile (+1)

#16: Alex Warren - Carry You Home (+5)

Extra: Katy Perry & Doechii - I'm His He's Mine

#15: Dasha - Austin (-7)

#14: Benson Boone - Slow it Down (=)

#13: Charli XCX - Apple (+2)

#12: Myles Smith - Stargazing (+4)

#11: Sabrina Carpenter - Taste (+2)

#10: Mark Ambor - Belong Together (+2)

#9: Gracie Abrams - Close to You (=)

#8: Teddy Swims - The Door (-2)

#7: Chappell Roan - Hot to Go (+4)

#6: Taylor Swift - I Can Do It With a Broken Heart (+1)

#5: Shaboozey - A Bar Song (-1)

#4: Billie Eilish - Birds of a Feather (-1)

#3: Sabrina Carpenter - Please Please Please (-2)

#2: Post Malone & Morgan Wallen - I Had Some Help (=)

Last year's #1: Taylor Swift - Cruel Summer

#1: Chappell Roan - Good Luck Babe! (+4)

Debuts:

The Weeknd is back with Dancing In The Flames. This is pretty good. I like the lyrics and the synth-pop production but I guess it's just a bit generic and forgettable. I don't mind if this one does well.

Tate McRae is back again with It's Ok I'm Ok. This is just very generic Tate. I don't love it, but it's still pretty good. I like the lyrics, sung to an ex's new girlfriend and assuring her that she's been in a similar situation, which somewhat reminds me of Hayes Warner's Predator. But it's very repetitive and doesn't feel like it does much different from her other songs production-wise. Still decent song.

We have two artists getting their first song ever on the Hits 1 countdown this week. Addison Rae makes her countdown debut with Diet Pepsi. I like this song WAY better than that annoying song she had four years ago, Obsessed. This song has really cool R&B production that kind of reminds me of Ariana Grande. The only reason it's not green is because I agree that the key change down a half step at the end is random and unnecessary and doesn't add anything to the song whatsoever.

Now the best for last. Katseye gets their first song on Hits 1, Touch. This is actually great, and much better than their previous Hitbound dropout, Debut. The production here has some really cool unique elements to it and some of it sounds almost jazz-like. The lyrics are also super relatable, about missing a chance for love because of lost communication. Even the repetitive chorus lines are done pretty well here. Honestly, I considered making this light purple, but I try to limit it to one dark purple and two light purples each week, and I still slightly prefer Please Please Please, Lonely Road, and Ego. But it's pretty close to dark purple.

Biggest Jump: Benson Boone - Pretty Slowly (+6)

Biggest Drop: MGK & Jelly Roll - Lonely Road (-9)

Missed song: Sabrina Carpenter - Skin

Recommendations for Hits 1: Sabrina Carpenter - Slim Pickins, Charli XCX - Talk Talk, Pearl Jam - Upper Hand, Chappell Roan - Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl, Camila Cabello - B.O.A.T.

Hitbound:

Dasha - Bye Bye Bye

Alex Warren - Burning Down (Debut)

Tinashe - Nasty

Ava Max - Spot a Fake (Debut)

Fifty Fifty - SOS (Debut)

Linkin Park - The Emptiness Machine

Katy Perry & Doechii - I'm His He's Mine

Meghan Trainor - Criminals

Henry Moodie - Right Person, Wrong Time

Haiden Henderson - Sweat (Debut)

Myles Smith - Wait For You

Jimin - Who

Knox - Invisible

Teddy Swims - Bad Dreams

Camila Cabello - Godspeed

Natalie Jane - Somebody to Someone

This week's Hitbound had a special guest host: Nonsentient Air Molecules. They were very entertaining. I especially loved when they said "__________". That was a really interesting thing to hear.

Alex Warren brings us yet another new song, Burning Down. This isn't great. It's a bit overproduced and the lyrics aren't that well-written either.

Ava Max returns with Spot a Fake. This is sorta generic but sounds alright, and I like the lyrics. It's not the most interesting thing out there but it's pretty good.

Fifty Fifty returns with a new lineup. Their song SOS is pretty good but sounds a bit too similar to Cupid for me to enjoy as much as I should.

Finally, Haiden Henderson brings us another countdown song, Sweat. This is better than HOAGT but still a very generic forgettable song that I couldn't remember one second of if you asked me.

Dropouts:

Mike Posner - Beautiful Day

Alex Warren - Troubled Waters

I'm fine with these leaving, neither one was that great.

You've been so out of blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs, thought about you way too blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs, over overthinking blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs, but you've been so out of blurbs, you could've had my blurbs, but you've been so out of blurbs:

The Boy Is Mine, Joyride, Guess, and Mamushi departed the countdown this week. The Boy Is Mine was the "best" of those four but it was still about time that left or else it would've gotten super annoying. But good riddance to those other three. Joyride, Guess, and Mamushi are all terrible songs that have been guaranteed a spot on my worst songs list for this year, so hopefully none of them re-enter.

Noooooo not Lonely Road having the biggest drop! I hope this song's run isn't over yet, and it rebounds next week.

It's great to see that Ego, my new dark purple song on the countdown, is climbing a bit. Now let's see this jump 24 spots to #1 next week.

With Joyride, Guess, and Mamushi all leaving, 360 goes back to orange status, and Belong Together & I Had Some Help become the new light oranges this week.

Why are Make You Mine & Slow It Down still here after almost half a year? These songs first debuted on Hits 1 back when Dua Lipa's Houdini was still #1. I keep forgetting that they haven't left yet, and on top of that, Slow It Down is somehow still in the top 15, and Make You Mine is hovering right outside of the top 15. I doubt either one of those songs will make it into October, but Hits 1 is Hits 1 so we'll see what they do with them.

Well, Please Please Please unfortunately only lasted one week at #1. I wish it got a bit of a longer time at #1. However, if, say I Had Some Help reclaimed #1, I would've been much more upset. There would definitely be a rant. In this case, the replacement at #1 was almost as good, Good Luck Babe. It's great to see Chappell Roan getting her first Hits 1 #1 song, and I'm not surprised it was Good Luck Babe. I could definitely see Hot to Go hitting #1 within the next few weeks and I wouldn't mind if that happened.

That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!

Nope, it's not quite over yet: here's a SHORT bonus album review for one of the SWEETEST albums of the year

Hi! Thanks again for the views. So, after I finished my 5-album series, I wanted to share one more album review with you. I had been teasing it for a long time, and after 132,947,323,589 years, it's finally here. You all know what it is. It's Short N Sweet by Sabrina Carpenter, aka one of the best albums of the year. It's also my 13th album review, so I was thinking I would do a Taylor Swift album, but the 5,000 pageviews special I'm planning soon is Taylor Swift-related, and this album is just too great not to share my review of. So, let's get into it!

1. Taste

My rating: 5/5 Great

This is the third single from the album, and it's a great album opener. First of all, let's talk about this production. One of the biggest things I love about this album is that it does a wonderful job of blending genres, and a bit of country influence runs through many of the tracks. This song introduces the overall musical style of the album which I quite like. And the lyrics are interesting. It's about her recent breakup with Shawn Mendes and how he got back together with Camila. But it's not being sung to Shawn, rather to Camila, warning her that the things they do together had already been done with Sabrina (which immediately reminded me of Olivia Rodrigo's Deja Vu, which I still prefer, but this song doesn't feel like a direct ripoff or anything). Essentially, she's saying that when Camila and Shawn kiss, she's gonna "taste" where Sabrina had been before. It's a weird song, but usually I like weird songs.

2. Please Please Please

My rating: 5/5 Great

We all know this one. It was her first #1 on Billboard charts and a recent #1 song on the Hits 1 Weekend Countdown. Usually I'm not the type of person who thinks of major radio hits as being even close to any artist's best songs (maybe because I love sad songs and acoustic ballads and that kind of thing, which typically don't perform well on radio), but so far the only real exceptions I've found have been Good 4 U & Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo, Everything I Wanted, Happier than Ever & My Future by Billie Eilish, Willow by Taylor Swift, and this song. This takes the genre-blending idea to an incredible degree, combining 70s-esque synths and beats, country-inspired vocal harmonies and acoustic guitars, and a fantastic key change in the second verse. So that's primarily why I love this song, but the lyrics are also well-written. I think it's kinda funny that Hits 1's clean version says "mothertrucker". But that's besides the point. It's just a great song.

3. Good Graces

My rating: 5/5 Great

Alright, we've reached the first non-single of the album. And I quite like this one. Lyrically, it reminds me of Please Please Please in that it's about the consequences of her boyfriend doing something stupid in a relationship, with this one being even more direct about its message. While it may not be quite as great as Please Please Please, it's still a very strong song. The production is pretty cool-sounding as well. It's got kind of an electronic beat, which isn't used a lot throughout this album, so it definitely sounds very different from many of the other songs on here. So, it's a great song.

4. Sharpest Tool

My rating: 5/5 Great

Another great song! I love the lyrics here, as they're very relatable. It's about reflecting on a breakup when you knew the entire time that the person you were with wasn't the "sharpest tool in the shed" and moving on quickly from the relationship. It's got a unique structure to it also, which I quite like. And the production sounds very different from other songs on here. It feels almost R&B to me which was interesting to hear on this album. So, pretty great song. Not much else to say here.

5. Coincidence

My rating: 5/5 Great

So, like I said earlier, Sabrina took somewhat of a country route with some of the songs on this album. This is probably the most country-inspired songs on here, with the acoustic guitar production and vocal harmonies. I love how everything sounds here. The lyrics are perfectly written as well. It's another song about Shawn and Camila, and although this song may seem more stripped-down, Sabrina's signature unhinged humor shines here. ("Your car drove itself from LA to your thighs!") So this is one of my favorite songs on the album I think.

6. Bed Chem

My rating: 3/5 Decent

Well, we've reached our first less-than-great song on here. It's my "least favorite" on the album, but it's still tolerable at least. As you may know, I'm not a huge fan of songs that are this sexually explicit. It's one of those weird R&B songs that just somehow sounds like a sexual song, and it's really boring to me. There is literally nothing interesting about this song other than being very sexual. But I guess it's not particularly bad. It's just a bit weird. So, moving on.

7. Espresso

My rating: 4/5 Good

This song needs no introduction. The song of the summer of 2024. The lead single and biggest hit off the album, and like many biggest hits and lead singles, it's not great. But it's still good. The 80s-style synthy R&B production sounds alright, but it doesn't evolve much, and at times it kind of sounds like a song from a Starbucks commercial if that makes sense. I do think the lyrics are really clever though. When I first saw the title, I didn't know what to think of it, but in this song she's comparing herself to the coffee, keeping her partner up at night. So, decent song but nothing too special in the context of the whole album.

8. Dumb & Poetic

My rating: 5/5 Great

W O W. I was not expecting this album to have a deeply meaningful breakup ballad, but surprise surprise, it does, and unsurprise unsurprise, it's my favorite song on the album. If I had to describe these lyrics in three words, it would be "Short N Sour", because it's the shortest song on the album, and I'm pretty sure it's about Joshua Bassett. The lyrics are just packed with genius (this song shows that Sabrina is Smart & Poetic), including a Leonard Cohen name-drop, a clever reference to Joshua Bassett by mentioning cherries in the first verse, a common theme throughout Joshua's lyrics, and just line-after-line, unhinged but in the best possible way. And the production is wonderful. Typically short songs don't feel like they evolve enough for me to love them that much, but this has that emotional buildup throughout that sounds amazing. So, I think it's safe to say this is the best song on the album. Since this is basically like Sabrina Carpenter's The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived, I was almost tempted to give this a 6, but I'm reserving that for songs that are just extra special to me. But it's still my favorite song on the album, and my favorite Sabrina song, no contest.

9. Slim Pickins

My rating: 5/5 Great

Alright, it's gonna be pretty hard to top Dumb & Poetic, but this song is still great. It's another one about a very relatable concept - desperately trying to find the person of your dreams, but that person being rare to find. The lyrics are pretty funny, with clever lines like "A boy who's nice that breathes", "The good ones are deceased or taken", and especially that outro, "Since the good ones call their exes wasted, and since the Lord forgot my gay awakening, then I'll just be here in the kitchen serving up some moaning and bitching." I also love the production, which also has a kind of pop-country sound to it. So, it's another favorite on the album.

10. Juno

My rating: 4/5 Good

*sigh* One thing I'm kind of known for as a blogger is that I generally don't love the songs that are most people's favorites. And this one's okay, but I think I don't love it as much as some of the other songs on here for the same reason as Bed Chem: it's just too sexually explicit for me to actually enjoy listening to it. I will say though, it is better than Bed Chem because the lyrics are more interesting and clever at times, and the production is significantly better than that of Bed Chem even though it does sound like a worse version of Feather. So, not the worst thing on the album, but still one of my "least favorites". I've heard some people say this would make a good fourth single from the album, but I actually highly doubt it'll be a single considering how sexual it is. More likely Good Graces or Slim Pickins would be the next single choices if anything.

11. Lie to Girls

My rating: 5/5 Great

So, the last two tracks are a bit "slower", and as you may know, I typically like "slower" songs more than this entire music blogging community combined. And of course I really like these two tracks. I think I like this one slightly more. I'm not entirely sure what it's about, but like many songs on the album, the lyrics are cleverly written, including the repeated refrain, "You don't have to lie to girls, if they like you they'll just lie to themselves", and I love the little interlude in the second verse when it says "We love to read the cold hard facts and swear they're incorrect, we love to mistake butterflies for cardiac arrest". And this has really cool production on top of it. It's got this synthy atmospheric sound to it but it evolves as it goes on. Clearly another on of my favorites on the album.

12. Don't Smile

My rating: 5/5 Great

Okay, we've reached the final track. I'm not gonna review the bonus tracks just because I'm trying to keep this review relatively short (and sweet), but you can see reviews of those on Bubby's blog. This is definitely a solid closing track. So, the premise of this song is a twist on the common phrase "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Here, she says, "don't smile because it happened, cry because it's over." It's essentially about regrets after a breakup, and it's possibly about Joshua Bassett. Also, this is probably unintentional because I couldn't find any further connections between the two songs, the second verse starts with the line "Pour my feelings into the microphone" which is somewhat of a parallel to the well-known opening line of Espresso's second verse "I'm working late cuz I'm a singer". Don't think that means anything here, but just interesting to mention. But anyway, I obviously love the lyrics here, and the production is similar to Lie to Girls but just as great. Wonderful closer.

Conclusion

Overall album rating: 93% (Great Album)

Interestingly this got the same score as when Bubby reviewed it. I will say though, considering how short albums like this have much less room for error than a lengthier album that can afford to have multiple mediocre or bad songs and still get a pretty good score, this album managed to perfectly live up to it's name and stay Short N Sweet throughout.

Favorite songs: Please Please Please, Coincidence, Slim Pickins, Dumb & Poetic

"Least" favorite songs: Bed Chem

That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!