The Super Bowl of blogging challenges (maybe my funniest post yet) - Hits 1 Weekend Countdown 2/8/25

Hi! So, in case you didn't see, I posted a comment on Ethan's recent "story time" post that inadvertently turned into the biggest (and really the only) blogging challenge I've done on here. I posted a comment that pretty accurately describes what this post was going to be at first, and was challenged by an anonymous commenter to not do any of the numerous things I listed. Here is the list for reference:

*rants about Fat Juicy & Wet existing*
*rants about Chiefs losing*
*sighs with relief that the Chiefs at least got 22 points which is a Swiftian sign of good luck*
*clowns about how Kendrick Lamar will be on a Reputation TV FTV bonus track*
*lists random statistics about Birds Of A Feather's countdown run*
*makes a tiresome joke about the apple finally falling from the tree and not making it to Brat spring*
*celebrates Diet Pepsi's 22nd birthday one week early*
*refuses to meet Bruno & Rose at the apateu until they let Pink Pony Club hit number one*

*sigh* I have to go this whole blog post without doing any of those things, so I might as well just not say anything. Enjoy the emptiness.

(Fine, I'll do it...)

Monday, February 10, 2025

The Super Bowl of blogging challenges - Hits 1 Weekend Countdown 2/8/25 (the REAL post, definitely not a troll whatsoever in any way, shape, or form)

Hi! So, this week's countdown was pretty normal and absolutely nothing unusual happened. Let's get into it.

Exits:

Teddy Swims - Guilty

Charli XCX - Apple

Myles Smith - Stargazing

Myles Smith - Nice To Meet You

Countdown:

#30: Kendrick Lamar - Squabble Up (Debut)

#29: Hayes Warner - Oh! (=)

#28: The Weeknd & Playboi Carti - Timeless (-2)

#27: Tate McRae - Sports Car (=)

#26: Marshmello & Jonas Brothers - Slow Motion (+4)

#25: Bruno Mars & Sexyy Red - Fat Juicy & Wet (Debut) (uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...)

#24: Lady Gaga - Abracadabra (Debut)

#23: Megan Moroney - Am I Okay? (=)

#22: Kendrick Lamar & Sza - Luther (+2)

#21: Raye - Oscar Winning Tears (+4)

#20: The Weeknd - Cry For Me (Debut)

#19: Morgan Wallen - Love Somebody (-7)

#18: Addison Rae - Diet Pepsi (+4)

#17: Gigi Perez - Sailor Song (-1)

#16: Sza - Bmf (+4)

Extra: Jennie & Dominic Fike - Love Hangover

#15: Damiano David - Born With A Broken Heart (+2)

#14: Lola Young - Messy (+7)

#13: Lisa - Moonlit Floor (+2) 

#12: Alex Warren & Joe Jonas - Burning Down (+2)

#11: David Guetta, Alphaville & Ava Max - Forever Young (+7)

#10: Gracie Abrams - I Love You, I'm Sorry (+1)

#9: Sabrina Carpenter - Taste (=)

#8: Teddy Swims - Bad Dreams (=)

#7: Billie Eilish - Birds Of A Feather (=)

#6: Shaboozey - Good News (=)

#5: Gracie Abrams - That's So True (-1)

#4: Sabrina Carpenter - Bed Chem (+1)

#3: Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars - Die With A Smile (-1)

#2: Chappell Roan - Pink Pony Club (+1)

Last year's #1: Dua Lipa - Houdini

#1: Rose & Bruno Mars - Apt (=)

Debuts:

Yeah, I guess Cry For Me, Squabble Up, and Abracadabra exist...

(And now, get ready for what might just be the most "iconic" moment ever on this dusty old blog forgotten by all...)

*painfully fakes a smile* Brandi Carlile - The Joke, Olivia Rodrigo - Teenage Dream, Camila Cabello - First Man, Billie Eilish - Everything I Wanted, Taylor Swift - All Too Well... Bruno Mars & Sexyy Red - Fat Juicy & Wet. What can I say? Fat Juicy & Wet is simply a *continues to painfully fake a smile* masterpiece of a song. First of all, the title is *smile starts to falter, but is adjusted back, progressively falling into a deeper pain* GENIUS. I mean, we've heard of juicy, and we've heard of wet... but the use of the word "fat" is certainly uncalled for. I-I-I-In a... good way? And secondly, the production. It's never been done before. It's *slowly breaking down into complete mental insanity* one of the greatest things I've ever heard. And the best thing about it? The lyrics. *goes full-on I Can Do It With A Broken Heart mode* Forget the raw agony of feeling less significant when growing up in Teenage Dream, or the masterfully crafted heartbreak storytelling in All Too Well. This song captures the essence of being... well... *Geez Louise I absolutely HATE even saying this title* ...Fat Juicy & Wet. I was already captivated from the relatable metaphor of "good kitty kitty good kitty kitty", but by the time we reached the pleasant imagery of "suck on my t**s", I knew this song was a complete *almost dies saying it* masterpiece. How could anybody not absolutely adore the genius that is... *I'm not even gonna say it again* ...this song. Wonderful job, Bruno Mars & Sexyy Red. Goodbye everyone. *falls straight down to the ground*

Biggest Jump: Lola Young - Messy, David Guetta, Alphaville & Ava Max - Forever Young (+7) (both "young" songs)

Biggest Drop: Morgan Wallen - Love Somebody (-7)

Missed songs: literally all of those other songs I mentioned above.

Recommendations for Hits 1: nothing. Fat Juicy & Wet has amazed me so much that I don't think any other song can match up to it.

Blurb Blurby & Blurb, That Good Blurby Blurby Good Blurby Blurby Make It My Blurb:

Apple left the countdown... okay. It was... getting old. Just getting old. Nothing else to say here. Guilty also left unexpectedly. More expectedly, both Myles Smith songs left, which was kinda good to make more room for new songs.

I don't know what Hits 1 is doing with Love Somebody or Sailor Song. I would neither love nor hate Love Somebody leaving, and I hope Sailor Song... yep, you guessed it, sails off the countdown. (Hey, no one ever said anything about not being allowed to say that in this post!)

"It's supposed to be fun turning twenty-one" - Addison Rae's Diet Pepsi, probably

...Birds Of A Feather has been on here for, like, a really long time, hasn't it? Yeah, those birds are flying high, aren't they?

There was almost no action in the top 10. I think it's so hilarious how most of the top half of the countdown is still so blue. "Oh damn, never seen that color blue." Goes to show how, uh... Delicate the countdown is. (I have no idea what that means, I just wanted to take advantage of the fact that I'm still technically allowed to make Taylor Swift references.)

Kendrick Lamar collaborated with Taylor Swift once, on a remix of Bad Blood. And that was not performed at the Super Bowl Halftime Show. Yes. Objective facts. No opinion. The clowns are running away.

Okay fine I'll meet you at the apateu-pateu, Bruno Mars & Rose. Pink Pony Club might hit #1 at some point, but if it doesn't, that's reasonable and acceptable, as it hit #2 and that's a really good run. Yeah...

I know this isn't part of the challenge, but I just wanted to say that Bed Chem is growing on me pretty rapidly. I love the windchimes, the overall nostalgic sound it has to it, and some clever lyrics (especially the bridge, and the second verse gets bonus points for "uponeth").

Well that was weird... but that's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!