Well that took me long enough. Don't worry, I'm alive... just very busy. I plan on maybe doing a mini countdown catchup post soon since I missed a bunch of weeks of the countdown just because of working on this. Honestly I kinda forgot about this until Bubby reminded me in my last post. These are my top 15 least favorite songs of the year. There is no specific criteria, basically any song that charted anywhere at any time in 2023 is eligible for the list, but it's mostly Hits 1 songs. However, it can contain Hitbound dropouts that didn't really chart anywhere else. This list is purely based on personal preference, so it's perfectly fine if you disagree (which a lot of people will).
Now before we get into the top 15 worst songs of the year, I wanted to give some honorable mentions, first an honorable mention to perhaps the most conflicting song of the past two years, Sunroof by Nicky Youre and Dazy. At first this would have made the list, but I was too distracted by its basic and cringey lyrics to even notice that musically, I actually really love it. It has all the factors of a good upbeat song in terms of production. But it's still not a good song just because of its absolute garbage excuse for "lyrics", particularly in the first verse. Oh wait, that's a 2022 song so we don't have to worry about it anyway. Now the top 15!
Top 15 Worst Songs of 2024
#15: Rema & Selena Gomez - Calm Down
This song was so annoying and overplayed. The lyrics just sound like a bunch of nonsensical phrases repeated over and over (woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo shawty come give me your lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo). It's also super repetitive and basic. Not to mention it lasted like 20 weeks on the countdown and never made it out of the bottom 10.
#14: Jung Kook & Latto - Seven
I used to tolerate this song, but now it's gotten super annoying. It's just another song that repeatedly lists the days of the week and claims he'll be loving you all seven days. There are some good songs that use the days of the week gimmick creatively, but this isn't one of them. Also, the production is really boring and bland.
#13: Dominic Fike - Mona Lisa
This is another song I used to think was okay, but after hearing it every five seconds on Hits 1 I decided I really don't like it. I think you might already be noticing a recurring theme here - I hate songs that repeat the same thing over and over for ages.
#12: Taylor Swift - Lavender Haze
This is Taylor Swift's worst song by far. The production never goes anywhere, which makes it sound both boring and empty, and for some reason Taylor sounds really whiny here.
#11: Nicky Youre - Shut Me Up
This sounds like a terribly mixed Christmas song with uninterested vocals. Not much to say here except it's really messy. Nicky Youre has some good songs, particularly his new ones, but this was just worse than Sunroof.
#10: Big Boss Vette - Pretty Girls Walk
"All the pretty girls walk like this, this, this, this. Pretty girls walk like this, this, this, this, all the pretty girls walk like," what? What do the pretty girls walk like? I can just imagine she was just singing it in the studio while walking like a "pretty girl", and didn't realize the listener can't see how she's walking.
#9: The Kid Laroi, Jung Kook & Central Cee - Too Much
I don't get why everyone thinks this song "slaps so hard" or whatever. It's not like this is some genius song. Literally the only part of the song with some actually interesting lyrics is Central Cee's rap verse, and the lyrics are pretty garbage. Listen to them and you'll know why I used to call this song Too Much Information.
#8: Charli XCX - Speed Drive
I've never understood Charli XCX's music. They all sound the same, they're way over produced, she hardly even sings, her melodies are always like one note, and it's not like the lyrics can save any of that. Worst song on the Barbie soundtrack by far, I wish Hits 1 picked up on Closer to Fine or I'm Just Ken instead of this.
#7: Drake - Search & Rescue
This is one of the most boring songs I've heard in my life, I can't believe this was a top 5 hit on the Hot 100. It's so boring, even Drake sounds like he's bored here. It's a good thing this never made the Hits 1 countdown or else we'd have bigger problems.
#6: Lady Gaga - Bloody Mary
Due to my lack of specific criteria, this actually counts even though it was from 2011, since it charted on the Hits 1 countdown and numerous other music charts this year. I'm not the kind of person who hates when old songs get re-popularized due to movies and TikTok and stuff, and in fact that can be great sometimes. But this is just a terrible song, like literally every other song from this album.
#5: Morgan Wallen - Last Night
So, we have two Morgan songs on here, this one being the slightly more tolerable one. But that's not saying much. How in the universe was this the #1 song of the year on Billboard? This insanely generic country song that just repeats a guitar riff a few times and calls it a day? Some might say this song kinda sucks.
#4: Morgan Wallen - Thinkin Bout Me
This song is insanely boring and the production sounds really bad. The lyrics are also really dumb. The whole concept is just the same thing over and over, just rephrased a few times: he hopes his ex is thinking about him when she's with her new man. Also it has a predictable head/bed rhyme which is almost always bad to hear. Some might say this song kinda sucks even more.
#3: iCandy - Keep Dat
I can't believe she really thought it was a good idea to use the worst word in the English language 70 times in a song. Not to mention it lazily samples a perfectly decent song, Boogie Shoes. I will never hear that song the same way after this. Moving on.
#2: Nicki Minaj - Super Freaky Girl
Congratulations Nicki Minaj, you have a song on both the best songs of the year and the worst songs of the year (as does one of our #1 artists). This song was just so annoying. It's got lazy sampling, repetitive sexual lyrics, and EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Also in one park she apparently thinks freak is spelled FREAKAKAKAKEAK. Not to mention this was overplayed to death.
#1: Labrinth & Billie Eilish - Never Felt So Alone
Alright, here we go, time for an unintentionally 420-word rant. This is the worst "song" of the year and one of the worst "songs" of all time. I don't think it should count as a song. And it features Billie Eilish! Billie is one of my favorite artists of all time, having another song on my best list right now, but this one... why did Billie have to feature on this? Honestly, I don't mind Labrinth usually. I didn't mind I'm Tired as much as every other human being on the planet. I thought the production could have been really cool if it evolved just a bit more, and the lyrics were okay but just slightly repetitive. But this one... I don't even know. It's just packed with so many glaring flaws that could have easily been fixed. We've got the intro that's literally just eight random notes on a synthesizer that sounds like baby noises. Then we get into the "song" itself, and it's painfully slow. Like come on, you could've easily just moved a little mixer thing and sped it up a bit. For a song as repetitive as this one, I don't see any reason to make it so slow. It's literally only two chords, and there are some good songs that use two chords, like Deja Vu & Satellite. But in this case, it just drags on forever and feels really annoying. Then the chorus is just "I never felt so alone, felt so alone" repeated like 500 times at a laughably slow speed. The melody is only three notes. Then in the first verse, we get Labrinth incoherently "singing" about who knows what, paired with some completely random out-of-place sound effects thrown around. I think one of the bloggers already mentioned this but there's a sound effect that literally sounds like someone peeing. Then Billie comes in, and her verse is better than the rest of the song, but she doesn't sound like herself. She's literally yell-singing and in some parts it just sounds like she's screaming random notes. I'll take the raspy, whispery Billie over this any day. I can't believe Billie had the audacity to feature on a garbage "song" like this, and it may have even been done against her will honestly. I can't think of a single other Billie song (or any song this year for that matter) that matches up to half, even a quarter of the sheer awfulness of this so-called "song". Alright, 420-word rant over.
Alright, now onto the best songs of 2023. Just like with the worst songs of the year, this has no specific criteria, so it's a mix of big hits, small hits, Hitbound dropouts, abyss dropouts, and a few non-Hits 1 songs. And again, this is just personal preference, so if I get 1,000+ comments saying "bruh why are all your favorite songs boring ballads by Snoozie Eilish and Olivia Midrigo", I don't care at all. Alright, here's the list.
Top 15 Best Songs of 2023
There were so many honorable mentions, so I wanted to go through all of those first:
Avril Lavigne & Yungblud - I'm a Mess
Benson Boone - Sugar Sweet
Diplo, Jessie Murph & Polo G - Heartbroken
Doja Cat - Attention
Ed Sheeran - Eyes Closed
Fall Out Boy - So Much (for) Stardust
(G)I-DLE - I Do
Harry Styles - Satellite
Jack Black - Peaches
Kid Laroi - Forever & Again
Nicky Youre - Eyes on You
Olivia Rodrigo - Logical
Pinkpantheress - Angel
Ryan Gosling - I'm Just Ken
Taylor Swift - Is It Over Now
Alright, now the top 15!
#15: Lauren Spencer-Smith - That Part
I used to not like this song because it sounds literally exactly like Fingers Crossed. Like, play them both at the same time and tell me I'm crazy. But even then, Fingers Crossed was a great song, and this is even better. It's Lauren's first love song, and it's a story of falling in love and fantasizing about them getting married, detailing their wedding and wanting two kids... it's just a beautiful song, it's not higher only because, come on, it sounds exactly the same as Fingers Crossed.
#14: Nicki Minaj - Red Ruby Da Sleeze
Alright, here's the first artist who appears on both the worst and best songs list, Nicki Minaj. I was so surprised when I heard this. I expected it to be Super Freaky Girl 2.0, but it was a full-blown diss track at literally every single one of her haters. Now, I don't always love when Nicki Minaj writes songs that are just dissing other people (*cough cough* Big Foot *cough cough*) but I love when she packs so much wordplay and insanely written lyrics into a song like this. I don't even mind the sample here. Alright, what's next?
#13: Brandi Carlile & Catherine Carlile - Closer to Fine
If you used to read my old blog, then you would've seen how many times I recommended this song for Hits 1 (a lot). This is a cover of the song of the same name by the Indigo Girls, but slightly more upbeat. If you don't know already, Brandi Carlile is my favorite artist, like, ever, and she wrote my favorite song of all time, called The Joke. This isn't as good as The Joke, but it's still fantastic and I love how it's used in the movie.
#12: Billie Eilish - What Was I Made For
Now here's the second artist who appears on both ends of the spectrum for me, and the second Barbie song on the list. This is my favorite song from the Barbie soundtrack and I'm glad it was moderately successful. The lyrics are simple but perfect, the production sounds good and it evolves as it goes along. I can't wait for Billie's next album.
#11: Sabrina Carpenter - Nonsense
This is just a hilarious song. The lyrics are so creatively written, and I especially like the "I had to jump the octave" line because I like musical humor. The production and vocals really reminds me of Ariana Grande, in the best way possible. And not only is this song nonsense, it's countdown run was also nonsense. It spun around in the bottom 5 for a while, then made a big jump, then slowly climbed through the teens, then made a big jump, then held at #5 a million times, then fell out of the top 10 but continued to spin around, then it left the top 10, then made a big jump to a new peak, then left the countdown from #4. Yeah, nonsense. Moving on.
#10: Gracie Abrams - I Know It Won't Work
I didn't love Where Do We Go Now when I first heard it, so I wasn't sure how Gracie's follow-up single would turn out. And it was a fantastic surprise. The production is really cool and way less boring than WDWGN, and her voice is amazing here. Her voice really reminds me of Billie Eilish in a great way. And the lyrics here are so nicely written, and very relatable.
#9: Melanie Martinez - Void
Wow. I was never really a Melanie fan until I heard this song. I haven't listened to the entirety of Portals, but from what I've heard it seems to be her best album. This is another song with fantastically written lyrics that are once again infinitely relatable. The production on here is super cool - synth-pop with a childlike undertone and elements of confusion. Cool.
#8: NOTD & Maia Wright - AM:PM
I'm not entirely sure what it is about this song that makes me love it, but I do. Obviously I don't just throw around purple ratings for being "fun and upbeat", but this has exactly what I like to hear in a good EDM song: evolution, nice melodies, lyrics, and powerful vocals.
#7: Jvke - Golden Hour
I seriously don't get why almost the entire music blogging community hates this song. It's beautiful and catchy at the same time. It's got my favorite thing when it comes to music that starts with E and ends with N and I mention it in almost every post I make so I don't need to say it again. And come on, he is not a bad singer. I love this song, and Jvke is probably my favorite new artist from 2022.
#6: Benson Boone - In the Stars
I've always enjoyed Benson Boone's music, even before he was "Godson Boone". Sugar Sweet almost made the list, but I decided this one's a bit better. It's starts off as a slow piano ballad and evolves as it goes along (kinda Benson's signature sound, which is partly why I'm such a huge fan of him now). And the lyrics are fantastic as usual, and very relatable.
#5: Olivia Rodrigo - Can't Catch Me Now
We've reached the top 5, and surprise-not-surprise, three Olivia Rodrigo songs made said top 5. First off we have this one, and I guess I'll have to fully review this again since this isn't on Guts and the last time I said anything about this song was on my old blog, which is kinda gone forever and I'm honestly not even disappointed about it. Anyway, this song is fantastic and perfect for the Hunger Games movie, including all the things I've talked about already (evolution, lyrics, vocals, etc) but multiplied by like a thousand.
#4: Mitski - My Love Mine all Mine
Yeah sure this is more of a 2024 song, and didn't make the Hits 1 countdown until 2024, but it was released in late 2023 and had a few weeks in Hitbound that year so it counts. Now the other songs on this list are great, but this song (along with the other three songs that are left) is where we start to shift from incredible awesomeness to just pure genius. The lyrics are quite profound, describing the complexities of concept of love itself (which is actually a common theme in my songwriting too). Pair that with jazz ballad production and vocals that sound like Billie Eilish but a bit deeper, and you've got yourself... this. Since this song has become bigger in 2024, this has come pretty close to #1 on my personal charts multiple times and still has potential to do so in the future.
#3: Lizzy McAlpine - Ceilings
I try to convince my dad that this is one of the most geniusly written songs of my generation, and all he thinks is this sounds exactly like some random Radiohead song. Well, as I like to say, if you're stealing something good, at least you're making something good. Alright, now let's talk about the song itself. Similar to My Love Mine all Mine, this is a love song, yet at the same time it's not a love song. It's a journey of a seemingly cinematic romance that's "kinda cute" and soon becomes something more, but then she has to leave and doesn't want to, then wakes up and realizes it was all a dream and she can't even remember the last time she was truly in love. Now obviously the lyrics are where most of the genius here is found, but the production is also really cool. It starts like a slow guitar ballad but evolves as it goes along, and actually has a bit of a cinematic quality to it, which fits with the premise of the song being like "the start" and "the end of a movie".
#2: Olivia Rodrigo - Vampire
One word to say here: evolution. If you want a more in-depth review, click here.
#1: Olivia Rodrigo - Teenage Dream
This is one of only four songs that has literally made me cry, especially her performance of it on the Guts tour. See above for a link to more in-depth reviews.
Okay, that one took forever. Who knew it would take longer to review the best and worst songs of 2023 than to review a 31-track Taylor Swift album? I thought it would be so easy, but really, nothing is easy.
That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeee!
