This week was incredibly terribly greatly awfully amazingly badly weird - Hits 1 9/28/24

Hi! So, I've made a big decision about what I'm gonna do with my blog. In addition to countdown reviews, I decided to continue my album reviews because there are so many interesting albums being released and they're so fun to make. So instead of just doing little series of them every time I hit a milestone number of views, you can expect an album review about once a week, if possible. That's definitely subject to change depending on whether my life gets insanely busy again, but there will certainly be an album review this week, most likely by Wednesday or Thursday. As for this week's countdown, just like last week, it was a combination of really good and really bad stuff. We got rid of a bunch of old songs and had some amazing debuts, but one re-entry of a song that's guaranteed a spot on my worst songs list of 2024, maybe even #1. There were also a crap ton of weird movements that made zero sense and a lot of them did not need to happen. So let's get into it!

Exits:

Benson Boone - Slow It Down

Madison Beer - Make You Mine

Shawn Mendes - Why Why Why

Teddy Swims - The Door

Countdown:

#30: Megan Thee Stallion & Yuki Chiba - Mamushi (Re-entry) (oh please...)

#29: Addison Rae - Diet Pepsi (=)

#28: Kendrick Lamar - Not Like Us (Debut)

#27: Meghan Trainor - Criminals (Debut)

#26: Linkin Park - The Emptiness Machine (Debut)

#25: Katseye - Touch (+2)

#24: The Weeknd - Dancing in the Flames (+6)

#23: Tate McRae - It's Ok I'm Ok (=)

#22: Khalid - Heatstroke (+4)

#21: MGK & Jelly Roll - Lonely Road (+7)

#20: Halsey - Ego (+5)

#19: Coldplay, Little Simz, Elyanna, Tini & Burna Boy - We Pray (+5)

#18: Charli XCX - Apple (-5)

#17: Benson Boone - Pretty Slowly (+5)

#16: Bruno Mars & Lady Gaga - Die With a Smile (+1)

Extra: Dasha - Bye Bye Bye

#15: Alex Warren - Carry You Home (+1)

#14: Gracie Abrams - Close to You (-5)

#13: Mark Ambor - Belong Together (-3)

#12: Charli XCX - 360 (+9)

#11: Myles Smith - Stargazing (+1)

#10: Sabrina Carpenter - Taste (+1)

#9: Marshmello & Kane Brown - Miles on It (+9)

#8: Dasha - Austin (+7)

#7: Chappell Roan - Hot to Go (=)

#6: Taylor Swift - I Can Do It With A Broken Heart (=)

#5: Billie Eilish - Birds of a Feather (-1)

#4: Shaboozey - A Bar Song (Tipsy) (=)

#3: Sabrina Carpenter - Please Please Please (=)

#2: Post Malone & Morgan Wallen - I Had Some Help (=)

Last year's #1: Taylor Swift - Cruel Summer

#1: Chappell Roan - Good Luck Babe! (=)

Debuts:

We did not need MaTRASHi to re-enter. I swear, every Megan Thee Stallion song is exactly the same, and it does not work. This better leave next week and then never come back after that.

Luckily we have a debut this week by a different and much better Meghan. Meghan Trainor's Criminals debuts the countdown this week after two weeks in Hitbound. This is great. The lyrics are hilarious - it's about how the intense amount of love she feels should be illegal, so she and her partner are criminals. And it's got her signature production style that sounds amazing here. I hope this does well, but judging by how poorly Mother, Been Like This & Whoops had previously performed on the countdown, I doubt this'll do much.

So, I don't think I've told you this before, but I actually hadn't listened to Kendrick Lamar's Not Like Us until about two months ago. I've very rarely brought myself to listen to rap music outside of Hits 1 as it doesn't interest me much, but I knew if I went too long without listening to this particular song, people would think I live under a rock. I like this. It's got really clever and kinda funny lyrics, including the line that's apparently going viral, "Tryna strike a chord and it's probably a minor". Obviously I love when songs have musical humor because I'm the biggest music nerd on the planet. So this is pretty good.

And finally, we have Linkin Park finally having one of their newly released songs make the countdown, The Emptiness Machine. This is probably my favorite debut this week. The rock production is fantastic, the lyrics are great, and I quite like the new lead singer.

Biggest Jump: Marshmello & Kane Brown - Miles On It, Charli XCX - 360 (+9)

Biggest Drop: Gracie Abrams - Close to You, Charli XCX - Apple (-5)

Missed song: Halsey - Colors

Recommendations for Hits 1: Chappell Roan - Casual, Pearl Jam - Scared of Fear, Charli XCX & Troye Sivan - Talk Talk, Demi Lovato - You'll Be Ok, Kid

Hitbound:

Myles Smith - Wait for You

Kylie Minogue - Lights Camera Action (Debut)

Knox - Invisible

Jon Bellion - Kid Again (Debut)

Camila Cabello - Godspeed

Morgan Wallen & Ernest - Cowgirls (Debut)

Henry Moodie - Good Old Days (Debut)

Damiano David & Labrinth - Silverlines (Debut)

Ava Max - Spot a Fake

Alex Warren - Catch My Breath (Debut)

Teddy Swims - Bad Dreams

Natalie Jane - Somebody to Someone

Balu Brigada - So Cold (Debut)

Nightly - Every Part (Debut)

Dasha - Bye Bye Bye

Alex Warren - Burning Down

8 debuts... okay then. First up is Kylie Minogue, a year after one of my favorite EDM songs of 2023 (not exactly saying much but a great song nonetheless) Padam Padam. Lights Camera Action isn't near as great but I like it. It's moderately forgettable but the production sounds pretty good. The lyrics aren't so amazing as they feel a bit generic but it's fine. This'll probably perform about as well as Padam Padam and I'm fine with that.

This next song is by Morgan Wallen and someone named Ernest with this song Cowgirls, which is apparently from almost two years ago but it's getting a sudden resurgence for whatever weird pop radio reason. This is just more generic boring Morgan Wallen. I really don't get why he's popular, not just because of all the controversies, but his music is also insanely boring.

Henry Moodie returns with Good Old Days. Unfortunately, none of his later songs have quite matched up to the same level of greatness as Drunk Text, one of my favorite songs of the year. This suffers from the same problem as RPWT where it just feels too generic and forgettable for me to enjoy it as much as some of his other songs.

Damiano David & Labrinth collab on Silverlines. Am I the only person in the universe who doesn't hate this song? (Of course, that's true of a lot of songs for me, but whatever) It sounds so cool to me and it's not boring at all, it evolves in an amazing way. So much better than Never Felt So Alone.

Hits 1 has now picked up on five Alex Warren songs in half a year, three of which have been in the past month. It's official, he's becoming the new Hayes Warner/Jessie Murph/Havana Winter/Knox/Henry Moodie/Presley Regier. Catch My Breath is a very mediocre and forgettable song that sounds like every other song he's released.

Balu Brigada is here with So Cold, and this is yet another song that I can't remember one second of after it's over. But I guess it's not bad, just a bit forgettable, like almost every other song on here.

Nightly returns after one year, this time bringing us Every Part. I don't love this as much as Shirt, which grew on me a lot after dropping out of Hitbound, but I like this a decent bit. The lyrics are really well-written as they're about loving someone who's going through mental issues and wanting to help them. Of course, the pre-chorus does rhyme "head" with "bed", but that doesn't take away from the song that much in this case.

Dropouts:

Tinashe - Nasty

Katy Perry & Doechii - I'm His He's Mine

Haiden Henderson - Sweat

Henry Moodie - Right Person Wrong Time

Jimin - Who

Fifty Fifty - SOS

These won't be missed. I'm His He's Mine and Who are in the abyss though so it's possible they might debut the countdown after some time.

The Blurbiness Machine:

We said goodbye to Slow It Down, Make You Mine, The Door, and Why Why Why. I'm fine with all of those leaving, especially the first three. My prediction was correct: Slow It Down, Make You Mine, and The Door had pretty much zero chance at making it into October.

No idea what Hits 1 will do with Touch, but I hope it keeps jumping, even if it only peaks at like #22 or something.

Great to see Lonely Road and Ego climbing. Now let's see them each jump 19 spots to #2 and #1 next week.

Charli XCX had both this week's biggest drop and biggest jump. Unfortunately, the significantly better song is the one that dropped, and the significantly worse song is the one that jumped. I thought for sure 360 was on its way out two weeks ago, but right now it's seeming like Apple might even leave first.

I really hope Close to You makes a comeback and doesn't leave from #14 next week.

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart is now on its 22nd week on the countdown! It's feeling twenty twoooo...

After falling last week, Miles On It and Austin both made big rebounds into the top 10. Miles On It is fading on me, and Austin is likely to fade on me if it lasts too much longer, but I'm still okay with this. Also, if Austin stays on for a mere three more weeks it will join the small club of songs that have lasted 30+ weeks on the countdown after it was shortened to top 30.

Good Luck Babe holds the top spot for a second week. That's pretty good for right now. It would be cool to see Please Please Please reclaim #1 for a second nonconsecutive week, and even better if Ego eventually hits #1, both of which are unlikely but possible, because Hits 1 is unpredictable. For now I'm perfectly fine with GLB at the top.

That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!

Finally back to doing this again... again... again - Hits 1 9/21/24

Hi! So, after my big album review series, I got sort of burnt out for a while, but I'm back to doing Hits 1 reviews, and hopefully it stays fairly consistent now. This week was kinda good and kinda not. One of my favorite songs on the countdown had the biggest drop, and another one of my favorite songs on the countdown fell off the #1 position. But that #1 was replaced by an almost equally good song, there were some great debuts, and most importantly we got rid of one old song and three contenders for my worst list of 2024 (which might have to be a bit longer than the 2023 one was because there have been so many horrible songs this year). So let's get into it!

Exits:

Ariana Grande - The Boy is Mine

Kesha - Joyride

Charli XCX & Billie Eilish - Guess

Megan Thee Stallion & Yuki Chiba - Mamushi

Countdown:

#30: The Weeknd - Dancing In The Flames (Debut)

#29: Addison Rae - Diet Pepsi (Debut)

#28: MGK & Jelly Roll - Lonely Road (-9)

#27: Katseye - Touch (Debut)

#26: Khalid - Heatstroke (-3)

#25: Halsey - Ego (+5)

#24: Coldplay, Little Simz, Burna Boy, Elyanna & Tini - We Pray (+3)

#23: Tate McRae - It's Ok I'm Ok (Debut)

#22: Benson Boone - Pretty Slowly (+6)

#21: Charli XCX - 360 (+1)

#20: Shawn Mendes - Why Why Why (+5)

#19: Madison Beer - Make You Mine (-2)

#18: Marshmello & Kane Brown - Miles On It (-8)

#17: Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars - Die With a Smile (+1)

#16: Alex Warren - Carry You Home (+5)

Extra: Katy Perry & Doechii - I'm His He's Mine

#15: Dasha - Austin (-7)

#14: Benson Boone - Slow it Down (=)

#13: Charli XCX - Apple (+2)

#12: Myles Smith - Stargazing (+4)

#11: Sabrina Carpenter - Taste (+2)

#10: Mark Ambor - Belong Together (+2)

#9: Gracie Abrams - Close to You (=)

#8: Teddy Swims - The Door (-2)

#7: Chappell Roan - Hot to Go (+4)

#6: Taylor Swift - I Can Do It With a Broken Heart (+1)

#5: Shaboozey - A Bar Song (-1)

#4: Billie Eilish - Birds of a Feather (-1)

#3: Sabrina Carpenter - Please Please Please (-2)

#2: Post Malone & Morgan Wallen - I Had Some Help (=)

Last year's #1: Taylor Swift - Cruel Summer

#1: Chappell Roan - Good Luck Babe! (+4)

Debuts:

The Weeknd is back with Dancing In The Flames. This is pretty good. I like the lyrics and the synth-pop production but I guess it's just a bit generic and forgettable. I don't mind if this one does well.

Tate McRae is back again with It's Ok I'm Ok. This is just very generic Tate. I don't love it, but it's still pretty good. I like the lyrics, sung to an ex's new girlfriend and assuring her that she's been in a similar situation, which somewhat reminds me of Hayes Warner's Predator. But it's very repetitive and doesn't feel like it does much different from her other songs production-wise. Still decent song.

We have two artists getting their first song ever on the Hits 1 countdown this week. Addison Rae makes her countdown debut with Diet Pepsi. I like this song WAY better than that annoying song she had four years ago, Obsessed. This song has really cool R&B production that kind of reminds me of Ariana Grande. The only reason it's not green is because I agree that the key change down a half step at the end is random and unnecessary and doesn't add anything to the song whatsoever.

Now the best for last. Katseye gets their first song on Hits 1, Touch. This is actually great, and much better than their previous Hitbound dropout, Debut. The production here has some really cool unique elements to it and some of it sounds almost jazz-like. The lyrics are also super relatable, about missing a chance for love because of lost communication. Even the repetitive chorus lines are done pretty well here. Honestly, I considered making this light purple, but I try to limit it to one dark purple and two light purples each week, and I still slightly prefer Please Please Please, Lonely Road, and Ego. But it's pretty close to dark purple.

Biggest Jump: Benson Boone - Pretty Slowly (+6)

Biggest Drop: MGK & Jelly Roll - Lonely Road (-9)

Missed song: Sabrina Carpenter - Skin

Recommendations for Hits 1: Sabrina Carpenter - Slim Pickins, Charli XCX - Talk Talk, Pearl Jam - Upper Hand, Chappell Roan - Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl, Camila Cabello - B.O.A.T.

Hitbound:

Dasha - Bye Bye Bye

Alex Warren - Burning Down (Debut)

Tinashe - Nasty

Ava Max - Spot a Fake (Debut)

Fifty Fifty - SOS (Debut)

Linkin Park - The Emptiness Machine

Katy Perry & Doechii - I'm His He's Mine

Meghan Trainor - Criminals

Henry Moodie - Right Person, Wrong Time

Haiden Henderson - Sweat (Debut)

Myles Smith - Wait For You

Jimin - Who

Knox - Invisible

Teddy Swims - Bad Dreams

Camila Cabello - Godspeed

Natalie Jane - Somebody to Someone

This week's Hitbound had a special guest host: Nonsentient Air Molecules. They were very entertaining. I especially loved when they said "__________". That was a really interesting thing to hear.

Alex Warren brings us yet another new song, Burning Down. This isn't great. It's a bit overproduced and the lyrics aren't that well-written either.

Ava Max returns with Spot a Fake. This is sorta generic but sounds alright, and I like the lyrics. It's not the most interesting thing out there but it's pretty good.

Fifty Fifty returns with a new lineup. Their song SOS is pretty good but sounds a bit too similar to Cupid for me to enjoy as much as I should.

Finally, Haiden Henderson brings us another countdown song, Sweat. This is better than HOAGT but still a very generic forgettable song that I couldn't remember one second of if you asked me.

Dropouts:

Mike Posner - Beautiful Day

Alex Warren - Troubled Waters

I'm fine with these leaving, neither one was that great.

You've been so out of blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs, thought about you way too blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs, over overthinking blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs blurbs, but you've been so out of blurbs, you could've had my blurbs, but you've been so out of blurbs:

The Boy Is Mine, Joyride, Guess, and Mamushi departed the countdown this week. The Boy Is Mine was the "best" of those four but it was still about time that left or else it would've gotten super annoying. But good riddance to those other three. Joyride, Guess, and Mamushi are all terrible songs that have been guaranteed a spot on my worst songs list for this year, so hopefully none of them re-enter.

Noooooo not Lonely Road having the biggest drop! I hope this song's run isn't over yet, and it rebounds next week.

It's great to see that Ego, my new dark purple song on the countdown, is climbing a bit. Now let's see this jump 24 spots to #1 next week.

With Joyride, Guess, and Mamushi all leaving, 360 goes back to orange status, and Belong Together & I Had Some Help become the new light oranges this week.

Why are Make You Mine & Slow It Down still here after almost half a year? These songs first debuted on Hits 1 back when Dua Lipa's Houdini was still #1. I keep forgetting that they haven't left yet, and on top of that, Slow It Down is somehow still in the top 15, and Make You Mine is hovering right outside of the top 15. I doubt either one of those songs will make it into October, but Hits 1 is Hits 1 so we'll see what they do with them.

Well, Please Please Please unfortunately only lasted one week at #1. I wish it got a bit of a longer time at #1. However, if, say I Had Some Help reclaimed #1, I would've been much more upset. There would definitely be a rant. In this case, the replacement at #1 was almost as good, Good Luck Babe. It's great to see Chappell Roan getting her first Hits 1 #1 song, and I'm not surprised it was Good Luck Babe. I could definitely see Hot to Go hitting #1 within the next few weeks and I wouldn't mind if that happened.

That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!

Nope, it's not quite over yet: here's a SHORT bonus album review for one of the SWEETEST albums of the year

Hi! Thanks again for the views. So, after I finished my 5-album series, I wanted to share one more album review with you. I had been teasing it for a long time, and after 132,947,323,589 years, it's finally here. You all know what it is. It's Short N Sweet by Sabrina Carpenter, aka one of the best albums of the year. It's also my 13th album review, so I was thinking I would do a Taylor Swift album, but the 5,000 pageviews special I'm planning soon is Taylor Swift-related, and this album is just too great not to share my review of. So, let's get into it!

1. Taste

My rating: 5/5 Great

This is the third single from the album, and it's a great album opener. First of all, let's talk about this production. One of the biggest things I love about this album is that it does a wonderful job of blending genres, and a bit of country influence runs through many of the tracks. This song introduces the overall musical style of the album which I quite like. And the lyrics are interesting. It's about her recent breakup with Shawn Mendes and how he got back together with Camila. But it's not being sung to Shawn, rather to Camila, warning her that the things they do together had already been done with Sabrina (which immediately reminded me of Olivia Rodrigo's Deja Vu, which I still prefer, but this song doesn't feel like a direct ripoff or anything). Essentially, she's saying that when Camila and Shawn kiss, she's gonna "taste" where Sabrina had been before. It's a weird song, but usually I like weird songs.

2. Please Please Please

My rating: 5/5 Great

We all know this one. It was her first #1 on Billboard charts and a recent #1 song on the Hits 1 Weekend Countdown. Usually I'm not the type of person who thinks of major radio hits as being even close to any artist's best songs (maybe because I love sad songs and acoustic ballads and that kind of thing, which typically don't perform well on radio), but so far the only real exceptions I've found have been Good 4 U & Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo, Everything I Wanted, Happier than Ever & My Future by Billie Eilish, Willow by Taylor Swift, and this song. This takes the genre-blending idea to an incredible degree, combining 70s-esque synths and beats, country-inspired vocal harmonies and acoustic guitars, and a fantastic key change in the second verse. So that's primarily why I love this song, but the lyrics are also well-written. I think it's kinda funny that Hits 1's clean version says "mothertrucker". But that's besides the point. It's just a great song.

3. Good Graces

My rating: 5/5 Great

Alright, we've reached the first non-single of the album. And I quite like this one. Lyrically, it reminds me of Please Please Please in that it's about the consequences of her boyfriend doing something stupid in a relationship, with this one being even more direct about its message. While it may not be quite as great as Please Please Please, it's still a very strong song. The production is pretty cool-sounding as well. It's got kind of an electronic beat, which isn't used a lot throughout this album, so it definitely sounds very different from many of the other songs on here. So, it's a great song.

4. Sharpest Tool

My rating: 5/5 Great

Another great song! I love the lyrics here, as they're very relatable. It's about reflecting on a breakup when you knew the entire time that the person you were with wasn't the "sharpest tool in the shed" and moving on quickly from the relationship. It's got a unique structure to it also, which I quite like. And the production sounds very different from other songs on here. It feels almost R&B to me which was interesting to hear on this album. So, pretty great song. Not much else to say here.

5. Coincidence

My rating: 5/5 Great

So, like I said earlier, Sabrina took somewhat of a country route with some of the songs on this album. This is probably the most country-inspired songs on here, with the acoustic guitar production and vocal harmonies. I love how everything sounds here. The lyrics are perfectly written as well. It's another song about Shawn and Camila, and although this song may seem more stripped-down, Sabrina's signature unhinged humor shines here. ("Your car drove itself from LA to your thighs!") So this is one of my favorite songs on the album I think.

6. Bed Chem

My rating: 3/5 Decent

Well, we've reached our first less-than-great song on here. It's my "least favorite" on the album, but it's still tolerable at least. As you may know, I'm not a huge fan of songs that are this sexually explicit. It's one of those weird R&B songs that just somehow sounds like a sexual song, and it's really boring to me. There is literally nothing interesting about this song other than being very sexual. But I guess it's not particularly bad. It's just a bit weird. So, moving on.

7. Espresso

My rating: 4/5 Good

This song needs no introduction. The song of the summer of 2024. The lead single and biggest hit off the album, and like many biggest hits and lead singles, it's not great. But it's still good. The 80s-style synthy R&B production sounds alright, but it doesn't evolve much, and at times it kind of sounds like a song from a Starbucks commercial if that makes sense. I do think the lyrics are really clever though. When I first saw the title, I didn't know what to think of it, but in this song she's comparing herself to the coffee, keeping her partner up at night. So, decent song but nothing too special in the context of the whole album.

8. Dumb & Poetic

My rating: 5/5 Great

W O W. I was not expecting this album to have a deeply meaningful breakup ballad, but surprise surprise, it does, and unsurprise unsurprise, it's my favorite song on the album. If I had to describe these lyrics in three words, it would be "Short N Sour", because it's the shortest song on the album, and I'm pretty sure it's about Joshua Bassett. The lyrics are just packed with genius (this song shows that Sabrina is Smart & Poetic), including a Leonard Cohen name-drop, a clever reference to Joshua Bassett by mentioning cherries in the first verse, a common theme throughout Joshua's lyrics, and just line-after-line, unhinged but in the best possible way. And the production is wonderful. Typically short songs don't feel like they evolve enough for me to love them that much, but this has that emotional buildup throughout that sounds amazing. So, I think it's safe to say this is the best song on the album. Since this is basically like Sabrina Carpenter's The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived, I was almost tempted to give this a 6, but I'm reserving that for songs that are just extra special to me. But it's still my favorite song on the album, and my favorite Sabrina song, no contest.

9. Slim Pickins

My rating: 5/5 Great

Alright, it's gonna be pretty hard to top Dumb & Poetic, but this song is still great. It's another one about a very relatable concept - desperately trying to find the person of your dreams, but that person being rare to find. The lyrics are pretty funny, with clever lines like "A boy who's nice that breathes", "The good ones are deceased or taken", and especially that outro, "Since the good ones call their exes wasted, and since the Lord forgot my gay awakening, then I'll just be here in the kitchen serving up some moaning and bitching." I also love the production, which also has a kind of pop-country sound to it. So, it's another favorite on the album.

10. Juno

My rating: 4/5 Good

*sigh* One thing I'm kind of known for as a blogger is that I generally don't love the songs that are most people's favorites. And this one's okay, but I think I don't love it as much as some of the other songs on here for the same reason as Bed Chem: it's just too sexually explicit for me to actually enjoy listening to it. I will say though, it is better than Bed Chem because the lyrics are more interesting and clever at times, and the production is significantly better than that of Bed Chem even though it does sound like a worse version of Feather. So, not the worst thing on the album, but still one of my "least favorites". I've heard some people say this would make a good fourth single from the album, but I actually highly doubt it'll be a single considering how sexual it is. More likely Good Graces or Slim Pickins would be the next single choices if anything.

11. Lie to Girls

My rating: 5/5 Great

So, the last two tracks are a bit "slower", and as you may know, I typically like "slower" songs more than this entire music blogging community combined. And of course I really like these two tracks. I think I like this one slightly more. I'm not entirely sure what it's about, but like many songs on the album, the lyrics are cleverly written, including the repeated refrain, "You don't have to lie to girls, if they like you they'll just lie to themselves", and I love the little interlude in the second verse when it says "We love to read the cold hard facts and swear they're incorrect, we love to mistake butterflies for cardiac arrest". And this has really cool production on top of it. It's got this synthy atmospheric sound to it but it evolves as it goes on. Clearly another on of my favorites on the album.

12. Don't Smile

My rating: 5/5 Great

Okay, we've reached the final track. I'm not gonna review the bonus tracks just because I'm trying to keep this review relatively short (and sweet), but you can see reviews of those on Bubby's blog. This is definitely a solid closing track. So, the premise of this song is a twist on the common phrase "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Here, she says, "don't smile because it happened, cry because it's over." It's essentially about regrets after a breakup, and it's possibly about Joshua Bassett. Also, this is probably unintentional because I couldn't find any further connections between the two songs, the second verse starts with the line "Pour my feelings into the microphone" which is somewhat of a parallel to the well-known opening line of Espresso's second verse "I'm working late cuz I'm a singer". Don't think that means anything here, but just interesting to mention. But anyway, I obviously love the lyrics here, and the production is similar to Lie to Girls but just as great. Wonderful closer.

Conclusion

Overall album rating: 93% (Great Album)

Interestingly this got the same score as when Bubby reviewed it. I will say though, considering how short albums like this have much less room for error than a lengthier album that can afford to have multiple mediocre or bad songs and still get a pretty good score, this album managed to perfectly live up to it's name and stay Short N Sweet throughout.

Favorite songs: Please Please Please, Coincidence, Slim Pickins, Dumb & Poetic

"Least" favorite songs: Bed Chem

That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!

{3,000 Views Special Pt.5} This album literally defined the summer of 2024... is it actually as terrible as I initially thought?

Hi! Thanks again for thousands of views even though I'm thousands of years late on these posts. So, I told you the albums I chose for this series would be completely unexpected and weird. Well, I bet even when I told you that, you wouldn't expect me to actually review this criminally overrated mess of an album in a million years, did you? If you haven't already guessed just by the color and font of the image above, it's... *sigh* Brat. By Charli XCX. Which is apparently already like one of the most iconic albums of the past decade or something, and it has one song that's literally about underwear. 

I was expecting to rant for millions of words about the current state of the music industry and the general public's flawed views on what kinds of music should become popular due to the apparent lack of quality in the lyrical writing and musical composition of a majority of the most popular music of the past couple of years completely overshadowing those who deserve public recognition for pure talent and effort, but I gave this album a few listens and... maybe it's not the worst thing ever? There's still plenty of characterless stuff here, but some songs were shockingly great. Contrary to what I was expecting, not every song is just a generic club dance song with substanceless lyrics and non-existent production quality. Some songs have some deep lyrics, cool-sounding production, and are actually quite good. But still most of the songs are kinda bad. (Also please keep in mind that I respect Charli as a person, I like her whole message and understand that she does great things... music just isn't always one of those for her, and as a mostly unbiased music reviewer, I separate music from personality.) Umm... let's just get into it.

1. 360

My rating: 1/5 Bad

So, this album has a lot of radio singles, and this seems to be the best-performing one. Unfortunately, it's just not a good song, and I don't know why it's currently top 15 on Hits 1. It's just one of those dumb cliche songs that's just bragging about everything and has nothing else to it. The production is insanely repetitive, and unlike some songs on here, it literally never changes or does anything that sounds remotely interesting. Obviously not a good opener track.

2. Club Classics

My rating: 1/5 Bad

So we have another bad song right at the start. This one is a mess. It's one of the most repetitive songs on the album, and that's saying something. This might just be the most generic club song on here, and half the lyrics are just "When I go to the club, I wanna hear those club classics" and a laundry list of artists and producers of club music she wants to dance to. This song was very close to being red, but at least she kinda sounds like she's singing and not just talking with autotune. She's doing a style of singing more similar to the Boom Clap chorus, which I think sounds better than her usual talking with autotune vocal style. But it's still a really bad song.

3. Sympathy is a Knife

My rating: 4/5 Good

Alright, now we've got one of the good songs on the album. A lyrical theme I was shocked to see appear on a lot of songs on here is displaying her inner vulnerability and insecurities despite seeming like just... well, a "brat". I love how this lyrical theme is explored. This song has some interesting production that actually has a nice melody to it, something Charli has been notoriously bad at in the past. It's not too repetitive and the autotune doesn't get in the way. So this is a pretty good song, and definitely not the only one on the album.

4. I Might Say Something Stupid

My rating: 5/5 Great

...wow. I was not expecting this. It's a heartfelt piano ballad about how she feels like she doesn't belong at parties when she's pressured to change herself. I am not even joking at all. Charli XCX made this. The existence of this song is what made me stop calling her Characterless XCX. She has so much character here. Sure, the autotune is somewhat distracting at times, and I would've liked it even better without it, but it's not like it completely ruins the song or anything. It's obviously still a great song that was definitely a great inclusion to an album like this.

5. Talk Talk

My rating: 5/5 Great

Wow, two great songs in a row. This one is just so relatable for me. It's about a crush on someone and just desperately waiting for them to talk to you, no matter what it is. The lyrics are repetitive but it works here, and it's perfectly written. The production sounds pretty cool here also. Unlike in IMSSS, the autotune is actually less heavy. Shockingly, I think I unironically like this song better than IMSSS. But they're pretty close. Overall this song is just a great addition to the album and I'm glad it's on here. Also, unlike the other great songs on the album, this would actually do quite well on pop radio, so I really wish it was released as a single. But unfortunately, now that Brat summer is over forever, it seems unlikely that we'll get another single.

6. Von Dutch

My rating: 0/5 Terrible

Well, the greatness was short-lived, and now we're in "hardly even a proper song" territory. Now obviously if there's one thing I'm kinda known for as a blogger other than my lack of a decently consistent posting schedule, it's that I'm known for never just throwing around great ratings to any song that's fun or cool or whatever like some people do, but I'm also not exactly known for throwing around terrible ratings to anything boring or annoying or whatever. But this song is just terrible. The production is just a loud overwhelming mess comparable to that of Guess, and the vocals are literally a one-note melody almost entirely throughout. The lyrics are also terrible. "It's obvious, I'm your number one, I'm your number one, I'm your number one..." like we get it, you're number one. This is easily one of the worst "songs" on the album.

7. Everything is Romantic

My rating: 2/5 Mediocre

So, this one starts off alright. It's got an interesting concept to it, the lyrics are pretty good, and the production is a bit empty but still decent-sounding. So, why is it "mediocre"? Well, it's the second longest song on the album... and the outro takes up about a third of that length... and what are the lyrics in said outro? "Fall in love again and again"... 36 times.  It's just too excessively repetitious for me to enjoy listening to it. But it's obviously not terrible. There are still plenty of redeeming qualities to it, but the length of the outro is what really takes me out of it as it feels like a complete waste of a relatively "long" song.

8. Rewind

My rating: 4/5 Good

This one's actually one of the better songs on here. I love the concept here, about wondering if she deserves her success and wishing she could go back to a simpler time in her life. The lyricism here is great. But production-wise, it feels kind of generic and forgettable. It definitely could have been better, but it's still a pretty good song. Not much to say here, just a pretty good song.

9. So I

My rating: 5/5 Great

Wow. This was unexpected. This one's really great. So, another thing I'm kinda known for as a blogger is that I love sad songs. This is easily the saddest song on the album. It's about a long-time collaborator Sophie who has worked with Charli on her music, who recently died. This song reflects on their relationship and her own wishes and regrets. Lyrically, this might be the album's strongest song. Obviously the main thing that makes me love this song is the lyrics, but the production also sounds wonderful. I was definitely not expecting a song as deeply meaningful as this. And THIS is the same album as Von Dutch?

10. Girl So Confusing

My rating: 3/5 Decent

This one's okay. I like the message here, but the lyrics are kind of repetitive and the verses aren't super well-written. Simple lyricism can work sometimes, but this song is just not doing much for me. The production is really bizarre also. The vocal effects are somewhat distracting. But obviously it's not a bad song, it's just mid. Could be better, could be worse. Not much to say for this one.

11. Apple

My rating: 4/5 Good

So, this is definitely my favorite of the radio singles off the album. It's not my favorite song on the album, but I love that this one is getting radio attention. Apparently this song is written about her relationship with her family. The lyrics are actually very clever, using the "apple" as a metaphor for the relationship and using phrases related to apples, such as "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree", "The apple could turn yellow or green", "I wanna grow the apple, keep all the seeds", among others. This song is actually very closely bordering on a "great" rating, but the only thing that keeps it from being better is the random mention of an "airport". I think it's kind of awkward and doesn't fit into the flow of the song, even though some people think it's clever wordplay. Overall, it's still a pretty good song.

12. B2B

My rating: 0/5 Terrible

Welp, this is the first bad song in a while on this album. My complaint about this one is literally the same as almost every other song on this album: it's just too repetitive. This might just be the most repetitive song on the whole album. And no, I don't mean that like there's a chorus that repeats a lot but it still has unique lyrics and somewhat of a proper structure. No, I'm serious, at least three fourths of the lyrics are "I don't wanna fall right back to us, maybe you should run right back to her" or "back, back, back, back, back". And there's really only one proper verse of unique lyrics thrown in the middle. And... that's it. So obviously this is one of the weakest songs on here.

13. Mean Girls

My rating: 1/5 Bad

Yeah, I'm not loving this one. The lyrics here are just not great. It's all about a stereotypical "mean girl", but I don't quite understand the whole message here. It's insanely repetitive, and the chorus rhymes heart with apart which I've said many times is a really dumb cliche. The production is also quite repetitive and doesn't do anything interesting. So, maybe not the worst song on the album but definitely not a very good song. Not much else to say for this one.

14. I Think About It All the Time

My rating: 3/5 Decent

Contrary to the title, this is not a song I think about all the time. It's very forgettable and kind of boring, and not the kind of thing I'll feel like listening to a lot. The lyrics are okay I guess? But not enough to make it any better. I literally don't have that much to say for this one, it's just kind of there. I'm indifferent on this one right now, but it might grow on me at some point. Alright, almost done.

15. 365

My rating: 0/5 Terrible

And the closing track is... possibly the worst song on the album. It's just a complete rehash of 360. The production is literally the same as 360 but in a different key and sped up, and the lyrics don't feel like they do anything different form 360. Now, albums with multiple songs based on each other aren't necessarily bad. Sometimes it can be quite good. Beyonce's Cowboy Carter is a great example of an album that does that kind of thing well. But here, it's just not good, because it doesn't feel like it brings enough new meaning to the track. And sure, some parts of the production here are different, but in most cases it's just worse than 360. So, this was definitely a weak closing track. But whatever, the album's over now...

Conclusion

Overall album rating: 49% (Mediocre Album)

So, it's certainly not a great album, but it's not completely terrible like I thought it'd be. It all just averages out to a medium score, with songs ranging from horrible to fantastic. I don't feel like reviewing all the bonus tracks like I did for Midnights, but if I did, Guess would definitely be the worst song on the album BY FAR. Not gonna lie, that song actually kinda makes me nauseous with the whole "underwear" concept, and it's such a horrible disappointment that Billie Eilish, aka one of my top 5 favorite music artists of all time, has been featured on one of the worst songs of the year two years in a row. But whatever, the main album is just kinda mid. I don't think it deserves all the recognition and critical acclaim it gets, but it's far from the worst album of the year.  (I don't plan on making a full-length review on it, but without even listening to the whole thing, I think the worst album of this year is Megan Thee Stallion's new album. Any album with a song where half the lines are "I get money I'm a star star star star star star star" is automatically terrible. But that's besides the point.)

Favorite songs: I Might Say Something Stupid, Talk Talk, So I

Least favorite songs: Von Dutch, B2B, 365

That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!