It's called "April" Fools Day for a reason - Hits 1 Weekend Countdown 3/30/24

Hey again! Sorry I'm late. Just to clarify, I am the real Hallett, and all comments under the name "Hallett" (that I know of) were really me. Wow, I never thought I'd have to say that. But now, time for a mini-rant... and it's not even about music. So, this is a confusing week, like any April Fools week. We had yet another fake countdown this time with only 20 songs, and that was two days before April Fools Day. Also, have you seen the comments on Zestpond's blog? We got Zestlake, Zestreservoir, and other zest-bodies of water, along with people commenting as Jessie Murph, Lewis Capaldi, Dominic Fike and others. There was even an entire troll blog, called "Zestpond's Album Reviews", with a fake review of Guts that sounded AI generated and was apparently created by Daniel. And this was all before April even started. Because apparently now everyone is completely ignoring the name of the word "April". I've never been an April Fools Day person, and I'm even less so a March Fools Day person.

But all April Fools jokes aside, it was an eventful week. You may have noticed I've changed my color code a bit. Well, I decided to add a light purple tier for songs that are really close to being purple but aren't my absolute favorite. Right now there aren't a whole lot of bad songs on the countdown, but I might eventually add a light orange too. As for the countdown itself, this was an eventful week. We lost three old songs, got great debuts, and finally a new #1! So, let's get into it.

Exits:

Tyla - Water (21 weeks: Peak #15)

Kenya Grace - Strangers (22 weeks: Peak #6)

Ariana Grande & Mariah Carey - Yes And (10 weeks: Peak #7)

Countdown:

#30: Shinedown - A Symptom of Being Human (Debut) (1 week: Peak #30)

#29: Meghan Trainor & T-Pain - Been Like This (=) (2 weeks: Peak #29)

#28: Twenty One Pilots - Overcompensate (-2) (3 weeks: Peak #26)

#27: Usher - Kissing Strangers (+1) (4 weeks: Peak #26)

#26: Olivia Rodrigo - Obsessed (Debut) (1 week: Peak #26)

#25: Luke Hemmings - Shakes (+5) (2 weeks: Peak #25)

#24: Jack Harlow - Lovin on Me (-6) (20 weeks: Peak #10)

#23: Dasha - Austin (Debut) (1 week: Peak #23)

#22: Madison Beer - Make You Mine (+5) (4 weeks: Peak #22)

#21: Djo - End of Beginning (+1) (3 weeks: Peak #21)

#20: Sza - Saturn (+3) (4 weeks: Peak #20)

#19: Girl in Red - Too Much (+5) (4 weeks: Peak #19)

#18: Tate McRae - Greedy (+1) (26 weeks: Peak #1 for 11 wk)

#17: Teddy Swims - Lose Control (+3) (29 weeks: Peak #2)

#16: Selena Gomez - Love On (+9) (5 weeks: Peak #16)

Countdown Extra: Benson Boone - Slow it Down

#15: Knox - Me Myself & Your Eyes (+2) (5 weeks: Peak #15)

#14: Ariana Grande - We Can't Be Friends (+7) (3 weeks: Peak #14)

#13: Justin Timberlake - Selfish (+2) (9 weeks: Peak #11)

#12: Renee Rapp & Megan Thee Stallion - Not My Fault (-6) (14 weeks: Peak #6)

#11: Ajr - Yes I'm a Mess (-2) (23 weeks: Peak #7)

#10: Beyonce - Texas Hold Em (+4) (4 weeks: Peak #10)

#9: Henry Moodie - Pick Up the Phone (+4) (12 weeks: Peak #9)

#8: Taylor Swift - Is It Over Now (-1) (22 weeks: Peak #3)

#7: Noah Kahan - Stick Season (+4) (16 weeks: Peak #7)

#6: Dua Lipa - Training Season (+6) (6 weeks: Peak #6)

#5: Benson Boone - Beautiful Things (-2) (9 weeks: Peak #3)

#4: Tate McRae - Exes (=) (19 weeks: Peak #3)

#3: Knox - Not the 1975 (+2) (19 weeks: Peak #2)

#2: Dua Lipa - Houdini (-1) (20 weeks: Peak #1 for 8 wk)

#1: Sabrina Carpenter - Feather (+1) (17 weeks: Peak #1 for 1 wk)

Debuts:

Shinedown returns to Hits 1 fourteen years later with their fantastic new song A Symptom of Being Human. Wow, I didn't expect to love this as much as I did, but it's quite amazing. The lyrics are so great, and I definitely relate to them. And this is one of the best examples of evolution right now. Although it's not as good as Vampire in terms of evolution, it's still absolutely amazing and deserves the first light purple ranking.

Next up is Olivia Rodrigo's Guts bonus track Obsessed. I knew last week would be the last time for a while where we had a countdown with no Olivia song on it. My opinion still stands from last week - I love the lyrics, and it evolves in a unique way. Great song and I'm glad it was finally released to streaming.

Finally, we have Austin from Dasha making its way out of the abyss. This faded on me a bit, but it's still good. The lyrics are great, Dasha sounds great, and the production is cool but doesn't really go anywhere and it's kind of forgettable.

Biggest jump: Selena Gomez - Love On (+9)

Biggest drop: Jack Harlow - Lovin On Me, Renee Rapp & Megan Thee Stallion - Not My Fault (-6)

My recommendations for Hits 1: Laufey - Goddess, Ariana Grande - Imperfect For You, NSYNC - Paradise, and Lizzy McAlpine - Older

Hitbound:

Fall Out Boy - So Much (for) Stardust (10 weeks)

Camila Cabello & Playboi Carti - I Luv It (Debut)

Haiden Henderson - Hell of a Good Time (3 weeks)

Jvke - Clouds (Debut)

Beyonce & Miley Cyrus - II Most Wanted (Debut)

Porter Robinson - Cheerleader (2 weeks)

Hozier - Too Sweet (Debut)

Jagwar Twin - Bad Feeling (Oompa Loompa) (14 weeks)

The Beaches - Blame Brett (7 weeks)

Teddy Swims - The Door (10 weeks)

Wallows - Calling After Me (2 weeks)

Liam Payne - Teardrops (5 weeks)

Alec Benjamin - King Size Bed (2 weeks)

Kenya Grace - It's Not Fair (3 weeks)

Alex Warren - Before You Leave Me (6 weeks)

Well, this week's first two Hitbound debus come from two of my favorite artists but were very disappointing. First we have Camila Cabello returning with I Luv It, featuring Playboi Carti. I waited two years for the amazing Camila Cabello to return with new music, and was super excited to see that she was back, until I heard the song. Um... I don't even know what's going on here. The production is really boring and messy. The lyrics aren't interesting, the verses are literally only about two words per line and the chorus is just "I luv it" repeated 9,876,543,210 times and it sounds super clunky. And Playboi Carti's verse is also really bad, he literally sounds like he's singing while half asleep and doesn't even have interest being featured on the song. I don't get it. Hopefully this is just a Yes And-type situation and Camila's next single is better.

Next up is Jvke, another usually amazing artist, with Clouds. I loved Golden Hour, This Is What Falling In Love Feels Like, This Is What Heartbreak Feels Like, This Is What Losing Someone Feels Like, and also This Is What Autumn Feels Like which Hits 1 didn't pick up. But this just isn't doing the same thing for me. It's very forgettable and kind of boring but not necessarily bad.

Luckily, it gets a bit better. Beyonce's album Cowboy Carter is out now. I've heard some great things about it. It might even be one of my next album reviews, but I'm still working on my review for Eternal Sunshine, and Cowboy Carter is 27 tracks. But anyway, her song II Most Wanted with Miley Cyrus is on Hitbound this week. This isn't as good as some of the other songs I've heard from Cowboy Carter, but it's still pretty good. Beyonce & Miley sound great together and the production is cool but it's not quite as good as some of her other songs.

Finally, the best debut of the week. Hozier is back with Too Sweet. I don't have much to say about it other than it's a cool song with great production and everyone sounds great.

Dropouts:

Benson Boone - Slow It Down

Zayn - What I Am

24kgoldn - Clarity

These all grew on me. Slow It Down is in the abyss so hopefully it debuts next week.

Abyss:

Sophie Ellis Bextor - Murder on the Dance Floor (#31)

Olivia Rodrigo - So American (#32)

Benson Boone - Slow it Down (#35)

Ariana Grande & Lady Gaga - Rain on Me (#40)

Hayes Warner, Billy B & Kevin Rudolf - Just a Girl (#42)

Nicki Minaj & Lil Uzi Vert - Everybody (#43)

The Weeknd, Jennie & Lily Rose Depp - One of the Girls (#44)

Victoria Monet - On My Mama (#46)

Jennifer Lopez & Latto - Can't Get Enough (#50)

Umi & V - Wherever U R (#51)

Jessie Murph & Jelly Roll - Wild Ones (#54)

Jelly Roll & Lainey Wilson - Save Me (#56)

Olivia Rodrigo's new single So American is in the abyss. This is good but forgettable and not near as good as most of the other songs from Guts (spilled).

I don't know why Hits 1 is playing a random Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande song from 2020 but I'll take it.

I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it I blurb it:

We lost Water, Strangers & Yes And. Good riddance to Yes And, I don't wanna go into detail about why this song is terrible right now but you'll see why when I do my Eternal Sunshine album review. Strangers was ok, but it lasted way too long. And I'm shocked Water managed to last 21 weeks on the countdown and only scratched the top 15 for one week. At least it was an actually decent song unlike that annoying Calm Down that was on for 20 weeks and never reached higher than the bottom eight until its final week on the countdown.

Wow, I never fully expected Make You Mine to make it out of the bottom 5, but I'm so glad it did. This is my second light purple song this week.

I'm kinda shocked End of Beginning isn't higher by now, considering it's in the top 3 most played songs on Hits 1 this week.

Good, it looks like Annoyin On Me is finally on its way out.

Ok how are Greedy and Lose Control still here and jumping? They've been here for nearly 30 weeks and have hardly gotten any airplay for the past few months. If Lose Control doesn't leave next week, it'll be the third song ever to reach 30 weeks on the countdown after it was shortened to just top 30 (not counting Before You Go because I'm pretty sure that debuted when it was still top 45).

Woohoo We Can't Be Friends jumped huge for a second week in a row! Now let's see it jump 13 spots to #1.

I hope Not My Fault's run isn't over yet. Hope it rebounds to the top 10.

Yes I'm a Mess is getting really annoying, can it please leave next week?

Looks like Is It Over Now pulled a Lavender Haze. I still stand by my opinion that Lavender Haze is Taylor's worst song and IION is among her top 10 best at least, so it would be nice to see IION hit #1 at some point, although that seems highly unlikely. If IION did hit #1 it would set the record for the longest climb to #1. This was previously held by The Chainsmokers & 5 Seconds of Summer's Who Do You Love in 2019 which took 22 weeks to reach #1.

We finally have a new #1, Sabrina Carpenter's Feather. If it weren't for Not the 1975, we'd have our first all green top 10. (Texas Hold Em grew on me)

That's all for now! Byeeeeeeeeee!